


The Service Log of A. Arendelle

by geekogecko (Jedijae)



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21606139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jedijae/pseuds/geekogecko
Summary: "Every military officer of note keeps a log of her service adventures. Why should I be any different, even if my 'of note' is just being The Spare?" This is a collection of shorts set in the Pin My Wings universe, contributed by multiple authors. They are not in any particular order. They bounce around...much like Anna's thoughts.
Relationships: Anna & Elsa (Disney), Snow Sisters - Relationship
Kudos: 26





	1. Eight Kliks

**Author's Note:**

> This first log entry was written by the lovely and talented Frenzy5150! Originally written for Kristanna Week 2017 over on Tumblr.

The mid-autumn sun glinted off the fjord, sparkling on the waves stirred up by a gentle breeze. The wind swirled up the inlet, past the ships moored at the docks, and danced around the ancient harbor fort that stood vigil over the military base which has guarded the seaside capitol of Arendelle for centuries. It carried the salt tang of the open sea to a pair of soldiers jogging along a deserted stretch of gravel their ancestors likely hauled longboats up onto.

Despite the weight of their packs, both moved with the grace and surety of seasoned runners. Though one was considerably larger than the other, both kept pace together. They jogged past a string of round moss-covered boulders, up into the little parking lot where a lone Humvee sat waiting for them with its tailgate down. The soldiers reached it and, like split sacks of grain, all of their poise and energy drained out of them, and they all but collapsed against the vehicle.

“That is the LAST time I let you talk me into anything,” Kristoff gasped, face-down in his Humvee, his pack squishing his face into the cool metal of the bed.

“You say that every time,” Anna let the weight of her pack pull her down into the bed, her legs dangling off the tailgate and booted feet swaying in the breeze.

“I mean it this time.”

“You say that every time, too.”

“Eight clicks, Anna. Eight. Fucking. Clicks.”

“It felt more like ten with that hill on the back side of base.”

“In full gear.”

“Eighty pounds is heavier to me than it is to you.”

“In less than an hour!”

“At least our time’s improving.”

“Not funny.”

“We wouldn’t’ve gotten caught if your Humvee wasn’t recognizable a kilometer away, y’know.”

“Leave Sven out of this,” Kristoff scowled, rolling onto his side and unclipping his pack. “He wasn’t the one who thought it’d be funny to super-glue giant eyelashes onto the headlights of the Major’s rig.”

“Sven totally thinks it’s funny.” Anna patted the tailgate. “Don’t you, my cute little Humvee…”

“Don’t talk to him like that.”

“Well, that stuffed shirt needs to majorly lighten up.” Anna slid her arms out of her own pack and grabbed her canteen. She ignored his groan at her pun and gulped down almost as much as she poured out over her sweaty head. “Besides, there’s precedent, y’know.”

“I told you to leave Sven out of this.”

“How the hell did you get the Motor Pool to let you put antlers on him, anyway?” Anna asked, tipping her canteen back for another drink.

“Told them it was part of my religion.”

Anna spat out her water. “You did not!!”

“It’s a very sacred tradition among my people.” Kristoff’s tone was a mix of solemn and offended that would’ve earned them another eight clicks if their CO was in earshot.

“No it’s not.”

“Not my fault the LT in charge doesn’t know that,” he replied downright piously, which was completely ruined by his cheeky grin.

Anna howled with laughter. Kristoff laughed as well, swiping her canteen and taking a swig.

“Hey, get your own!” Anna squawked.

“I’ve got my own.”

“Well, what’s wrong with it?”

“It, um, doesn’t have water in it.”

“Oh?” Anna quirked an eyebrow, and Kristoff actually blushed. “Why, Chief Warrant Officer Kristoff Evelyn Bjorgman!”

“Evelyn?” Kristoff protested.

“You’re telling me you have a canteen filled with illicit hooch, and you’re not sharing?!”

“Running and alcohol do not mix,” he pointed out.

“I’m not running now. Hand it over.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“I outrank you.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t hold it against you.”

“My feet hurt, Bjorgman. Gimmee.” And with that Anna lunged over him to rifle through his pack, not caring that he got a nose full of her sweaty armpit. She knew exactly where he hid his canteens, something their CO never figured out. She crowed in triumph, holding up the standard-issue aluminum canteen full of definitely NOT standard issue drink.

Anna propped an elbow on his chest and opened the canteen. She sniffed it before taking an experimental sip. “Akvavit?”

“Pabbie’s best,” Kristoff grinned up at her.

“Yusss,” Anna practically purred, taking another swig. “He’d retire fat and happy if he ever sold this miracle juice.”

“He’s already happily retired, but I’m not calling him fat.”

“You better not. You’re my hook-up for the honest goods.” She deliberately eyed him up and down, then took another shot.

Kristoff cleared his throat, failing to hide his blush, and plucked the canteen out of her hands. “Wouldn’t want to mess up a good thing,” he muttered. He started to tip the canteen back, but thought better of it and capped it. Someone had to be the sane and sober one of them.

“Uuuugh, why is it sofa king HOT!!!”

“Eight clicks with eighty-pound packs, remember?”

“It’s October, there’s supposed to be snow on the ground!” she groused. She rolled off him and yanked on her boot laces, too focused to notice him place a broad hand over the spot on his chest she just vacated. “Maybe I could talk Elsa into an early winter.”

“You want to run through snow?”

“Hmm, good point. How about just an early frost?” Anna kicked her boots off and plopped back down on her pack.

“And give the climate change deniers more ammo?”

Anna snorted, then draped an arm over her eyes to block out the sun. “Still too hot.”

“Take your socks off too, then.”

“That requires effort, and I’m too tired. You do it.”

“Gross.”

“Kristoooooff…”

“Can’t. Busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Re-hiding my canteen.”

“Uuuuuuuuugh!” Anna groaned, flinging her arms out. One hand landed on Kristoff’s pack, which he lifted off and plopped back down across her face. The other landed on something cool, cylindrical, and metallic. “That’ll work,” she grinned.

Kristoff slapped his pack closed with a satisfied grunt. “What’ll work?” he asked.

He should’ve known better.

Somehow Miss ‘I’m too tired’ found the energy to pull a length of spare paracord from her pack, tie each end to the toes of her socks, and was tying the middle to the business end of a rocket launcher. “What are you doing?!”

“Taking my socks off.”

“With a rocket launcher?!!?”

“This is gonna be awesome!”

“This is gonna earn us so many demerits we’ll still be burning them off by the time we earn back our ranks!”

“Don’t be such a grumpy pants.”

“You’re going to kill yourself.”

“Relax, you know it’s dummy ordinance.”

“Anna!!!”

“This part of the fjord is for practice fire anyway. Nobody’s gonna notice.”

“The major will notice. The major always notices.”

“We were supposed to use this up during our latest drill, which got interrupted by our latest forced run,” Anna explained quite calmly. “Wouldn’t want the Quartermaster riding our asses because we didn’t use up our allotted ordinance.”

“You’re using a rocket launcher! To remove your socks!”

“I know! It’s like a crazy trust exercise or something.”

“If that thing drags you into the fjord, I’m not going in after you.”

“Yes you would.”

“No I wouldn’t.”

“You would, if only to see me in a wet t-shirt. AND to say ‘I told you so.’”

“I…..” Kristoff’s mouth hung open like a landed fish for a full three seconds before he snapped it closed with a pout. “Sometimes I really don’t like you.”

“Hush. I gotta aim this thing.”

“Anna no!!”

“Anna yes!!!!” And with that she pulled the trigger, and both the rocket and her socks disappeared with a hollow whoosh.

“Ha Haaaa!! Brilliant!!! It actually worked!!!” Anna cheered, wriggling her now bare feet.

Kristoff watched, gobsmacked, as the dud rocket arced through the air, leaving a graceful smoke trail followed by a ridiculous fluttering pair of socks, before disappearing into the waters of the fjord.

“Damn efficient, wouldn’t you say?” Anna laughed.

“That…. was actually pretty cool,” Kristoff couldn’t help but grin.

“That was fucking awesome is what that was!!” She gave him a little sideways grin. “Crazy trust exercise.”

“They always are, with you,” Kristoff smiled softly.

“ARENDELLE!!! BJORGMAN!!!”

“Aw hell,” Anna winced.

“OFFICE!!!!!!”

“I told you so,” Kristoff also winced.

“You say that every time.”

“NOW!!!!!!!!!!”

They both winced again.

“Might as well get this over with,” Kristoff hopped off the tailgate. He plucked Anna’s boots off the ground and started jogging.

“Hey!!”

“If I’m getting demerits again for one of your ideas, I’m at least having a bit of fun this time.”

“Bjorgman!!!” she screeched, and he laughed, and she chased him all the way to the Major’s office.

Inspired by this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6W3US8Luo8


	2. Wherever You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PMW Christmas short originally posted on Tumblr. Author: geekogecko

Shoulders slumped, Anna trudged into her quarters and dropped onto the edge of her cot. She just sat there for a few minutes, elbows on her knees, staring at the flight helmet dangling from her fingers. Vivid memories of her most recent medevac flight swirled through her head. No matter how hard she squeezed her eyes shut, she could not make them go away.

_Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod…._

The helmet dropped to the floor with a thud. Anna pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes, against the images of the carnage she’d seen as she’d approached the village, the screams of the injured that echoed in her ears despite the insulation of her helmet and the roar of the chopper’s engines. Her chest heaved, and she grabbed for her pillow, burying her face in it to muffle her cries.

Once her sobs had faded into hiccupping sniffles, she flopped onto her side, curling around the pillow in a fetal position. _All this violence, all this suffering – how does Neema deal with it?_

Anna had such high hopes when she returned to Central Africa as part of Arendelle’s small contingent to the UN peacekeeping force. It was no longer _Muscovian_ Central Africa – that name was ousted along with former president Mwenye in the country’s first ever truly free elections. Now Neema was president and working tirelessly to root out Mwenye’s corrupt cronies and rid the country of Muscovian influence.

But despite everything they’d done, little seemed to have changed. Civil war still ravaged the country. Mwenye had refused to recognize the results of the UN-supervised elections. Instead, he retreated to his home province with his loyalists to fight Neema’s fledgling government. 

So rather than advising the new leadership and helping train the Central African army, Anna found herself in the cockpit constantly, doing combat search and rescue missions along with her dustoff flights. When she wasn’t flying, she was helping with maintenance, meeting with American and UN officers, or tossing on her cot in a vain attempt to sleep.

Sleep probably wasn’t happening tonight, either. At least she had the tiny compartment to herself, so no worries about keeping a roommate awake with her restlessness. Anna pushed herself up and stripped her sweaty flight suit off her shoulders, tying the empty sleeves around her waist. Then she fished a bottle of akvavit from her footlocker. Only a couple of inches of liquor were left in the bottom of it, and she stared at it in consternation.

“I swear I just got this bottle,” she mumbled.

She took a slug straight from the bottle, coughing a little as the akvavit burned down her throat. Then she noticed a small evergreen tree perched on the corner of the folding table she used as a desk. Miniature candy canes decorated its boughs, and several small straw Yule goats sat at its base.

_Zuri_. Anna smiled in spite of herself. The little girl was so excited for Christmas. She’d been appalled when she found that Anna had no decorations in her room. Obviously she had decided to take matters into her own hands.

“Oh God, it’s Christmas Eve…”

Anna’s heart suddenly ached with longing for Arendelle. The soldiers here had done all that they could to make things festive and get into the holiday spirit, but it just wasn’t the same as being _home_. Anna closed her eyes. Christmas wasn’t a base in the jungle, with its stifling humidity, the stink of fuel and hydraulics, and the constant sounds of gunfire and roaring engines. Christmas was Arendelle’s snow-covered mountains, the aroma of _krumkakes_ and hot _gløgg_ , the sound of carolers along the waterfront. It was the Castle glowing with holiday lights and Elsa’s magic. She missed it terribly.

But most of all, she missed Elsa. Missed her so much. Anna sank back down on her cot as tears threatened to overwhelm her again. _I want my big sister…._

Her eyes fell on the small case in the corner that held her secure satphone. She grabbed it and popped it open on the table, squashing a twinge of guilt as she punched in Elsa’s number. The phone cost about a zillion kroners a minute and technically she was only supposed to use it for official Crown business.

_They can take it out of my paycheck. Besides, the Crown Princess talking to the Queen sounds pretty official._

Elsa’s phone rang and rang and rang, and finally kicked over to voicemail. Anna frowned and tried again. It wasn’t like Elsa to not answer her calls. Maybe she was just in the bathroom without her phone or something. But it went to voicemail again. Just the sound of Elsa’s voice in the greeting made her throat tighten.

She hung up without saying anything. She wouldn’t ruin Elsa’s Christmas by leaving her a teary, incoherent voice message. That would just make her sister worry, and Elsa worrying sometimes had…worrisome consequences.

_I hope she at least got her present. I think I sent it in time…_

She tried not to think about the fact that she hadn’t received a present or even a card from home, but her chest ached, and she pressed her fist against her mouth as her tears spilled over. She had no right to feel like this – Elsa wasn’t ignoring her, Elsa was the Queen, she was busy, constantly in demand, and had so few minutes in a day that she could call her own. Yet Anna couldn’t shake the sense of abandonment, and her guilt at feeling that way only made her cry harder.

There was a knock at her door. She wiped her face with the tail of her tank top, then took a steadying breath and called, “Come in.”

The door opened and Zuri’s smiling face poked into the room. “Anna!”

“Hi Zuri.”

Zuri furrowed her brow at Anna’s tear-streaked face. “What’s the matter? Why are you crying on Christmas Eve?”

“I…I miss my sister.” Anna felt a little silly at the admission. Elsa was home and safe in the Castle, and Zuri, like many Central Africans, had lost so much. Her home had been destroyed by Mwenye’s soldiers, her father and older brothers killed in the fighting. Yes, Anna knew what it was like to lose loved ones, but her home was safe, her country peaceful. Zuri had lived in refugee and military camps for much of her young life. Yet she carried on with unflagging cheerfulness.

“I miss my _baba_ and brothers too.” Zuri sat on the cot next to Anna and gave her a hug. “But Mama says they wouldn’t want us to be sad on Christmas. I don’t think your sister would want you to be sad either.”

Anna squeezed the little girl tight and kissed the top of her head. “How did you get so smart?”

Zuri flashed a wide smile and jumped off the cot. “Come on,” she said, tugging at Anna’s hand. “Reindeer Man wants you to come to the DFAC ASAP. There’s a Christmas thing there!”

“ASAP, huh?” Anna couldn’t help but smile at the way the little girl used the soldiers’ lingo. Reindeer Man was what Zuri called Anna’s co-pilot, Chief Warrant Officer Kristoff Bjorgman. Kristoff had named his Humvee ‘Sven’ after his pet reindeer back home. Anna didn’t really feel like going over to the dining facility, or DFAC, but Zuri looked so eager that she couldn’t bring herself to say no.

“So what’s the thing at the DFAC?” she asked as Zuri pulled her along the path toward the center of the small base.

“It’s a surprise!” Zuri was practically quivering with excitement as she skipped down the path, navigating it with ease despite the gathering darkness.

_Maybe the food for the Christmas dinner finally got here_. Anna perked up a little. There had been some SNAFU with the logistics system, and the soldiers had been grumbling over the prospect of eating MREs on Christmas Day. Which would truly suck.

Kristoff was waiting for them at the door of the prefab building that served as the camp’s dining hall. His gaze flicked over her, and Anna was sure he didn’t miss her red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Suddenly self-conscious, she shoved her arms back into the sleeves of her flight suit and zipped it up.

“So what’s the big surprise, Kristoff? Did the UN loggies finally unfuck the food delivery?”

“Nope.”

“So the big surprise is MREs for Christmas? Or will we be treated to powdered eggs and limp bacon?”

“Nope.” With a big grin, Kristoff slid the DFAC door open and waved her inside.

“Then what – ” Anna stopped short and gasped as she stared around the DFAC. “Wow!”

The folding tables, now covered with red and green table cloths, were laid with a Christmas spread that rivaled the best she’d seen at Arendelle Castle. Ribbe, lutefisk, boller, and _kransekake_ , along with turkey, ham, potatoes, and other traditional American dishes. Soldiers with disposable plates and plastic utensils were already lined up along the walls in hungry anticipation.

“Where did all this come from?” Anna asked.

A chilly breeze blew through the room, carrying with it a familiar blue-white glow. Suddenly wreaths, miniature trees, and other Christmas decorations, all made from sparkling, flawless ice, adorned every table in the dining hall.

“Elsa!” Anna whirled around to find her sister standing in the door. 

Elsa looked decidedly non-Christmasy in cargo pants and a field shirt, but her smile was brighter than any holiday lights Anna had ever seen. She stomped one booted foot, and a line of magic ice ran along the floor to the center of the room, where it spiraled upward into a shimmering Yule tree, complete with twinkling lights. The soldiers erupted with cheers and whistles.

Elsa held up a small figurine. Anna gasped – it was a snowman woven from raffia, the gift she had sent Elsa for Christmas. As she watched wide-eyed, Elsa swirled her magic through her hands and created a glittering Christmas star with the snowman at its center. The soldiers cheered again as Elsa floated the star to the top of the icy tree.

Heedless of everyone watching, Anna threw her arms around her sister and squeezed until she heard Elsa gasp for air. “Elsa, what are you doing here?!”

Elsa cradled her face and wiped at the tears on her cheeks. “I came to see you, silly.”

“But…but what about the kingdom? What about Arendelle?”

“Anna, Christmas is about family. For me, Christmas is wherever _you_ are.” 

Elsa pulled her in for a bone-crushing hug. Anna buried her face in Elsa’s shoulder, basking in the warmth of her sister’s embrace, of the comforting scents of spearmint and winter pine, and most of all, just the joy of Elsa’s presence.

“ _Jeg elsker deg_ , Anna. _Gledelig Jul._ ”

“ _Jeg elsker deg også._ _Gledelig Jul_.”


	3. A Princess Walks Into a Bar...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's more than one way to defend the honor of the Queen. Contributed by the amazing and funny GrrlGeek72

_“I'll kill her,”_ Elsa thought. _“No, better, I'll abdicate and leave the Crown to her.”_ She gently thumped her forehead on her desk several more times, then sat straight and glared at her chief bodyguard.

“Revel, one more time. HOW did Tiny here manage to let her get into a bar fight?” Elsa waved at the two men standing at attention in front of her desk. “I thought the idea was that Sergeant Lockhart would finally be the one person able to keep my incredibly troublesome sister out of the tabloids?”

“She's not in the tabloids, Your Majesty,” Bit Lockhart mumbled. “She's not!” he repeated as Elsa glowered. “She's at least learned to go bar hopping incognito!” _“Learned, or been taught, Bit?”_ he added silently to himself. Elsa didn't need to know what else Colonel Fitzwilliam had been teaching her young hero-worshipping protégé after duty hours.

Elsa had to admire his courage. Even brave men, forged in battle, had been known to wilt under the icy gaze of The Snow Queen. Lockhart was ignoring her scowl and trying to calm her down. Revel was giving him the side-eye, as her long-time bodyguard and security chief hadn't realized Bit had that much moxie in him, ex-Green Beret or no.

Revel, of course, had prepared for the meeting by putting on his North Mountain™ undies. He had been here many times before and had learned his lesson. They didn't even bulk up his Savile Row suit. Much.

“What. Happened.” Elsa ground out between clenched teeth as ice crept from her hands.

“Uh, it was like this, Your Majesty – “ Revel began ...

x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x

“Whooohooo!!!!!!! A pass at last!” Anna pumped her fists as she happy-danced around the common area.

The Arendelle contingent was in a very nice lodge at the Ramstein Airbase. Run by the US Air Force, it was a far cry from the 'accommodations' Anna and her company had endured in Central Africa. Ramstein was an intermediate stop for R&R as the unit rotated back to Arendelle. Both the people and the machinery needed some mending after their experience supporting Neema Sefu's fledgling government. It had been a rough deployment and the need to blow off some steam was almost overwhelming.

“Calm down, LT. We need to pace ourselves!” Kristoff was always trying to rein in Anna's exuberance. They had a good camaraderie and mutual respect, but her co-pilot was a real killjoy sometimes. On the other hand, Bit Lockhart appreciated the calming influence Kristoff was sometimes able to bring to bear. Operative word being _'sometimes'_.

Lockhart had an indulgent smile on his face as he watched the Princess dance around the room. He had been as thrilled to leave Central Africa behind as any of the troops and had many fond memories of the pleasures available to military personnel looking for fun in the environs of Ramstein and K-town.

Now all he had to do was keep his charge away from all of them. _“Or the Queen will have your guts for garters, Bit. No, Revel will have your guts for garters, then Her Majesty will add a new ice statue to the Royal Gardens.”_

Frankly, keeping the LT safe was easier in Africa – the only thing he had to worry about there were the people shooting at them. And Anna had demonstrated an amazing ability to walk through raindrops, even if they were made of lead.

Here? In Germany? Back in civilization with myriads of establishments designed to separate soldiers from their pay in return for the many decadent pleasures of K-town? “ _I'm guessing she won't be interested in the Japanese Tea Garden, or the_ _dinosaur exhibit_ _at the_ _Gartenschau Kaiserslautern.”_

And that meant … paparazzi. Even a six-month deployment to Central Africa had only tamped down the interest in “Princess Feisty Pants of Arendelle”, it hadn't extinguished it completely. The snoopies had ways of gathering information that were the envy of the intelligence agencies, and it wouldn't take long for them to get wind of the fact that Princess Anna was back from Africa, fodder for their cameras once again.

“Okay, guys, shower up and we're heading into town for some fun. Nachtschicht here we come! Whoo hoo!” Anna headed back to her room to change into civilian clothes, shedding her uniform blouse as she went and twirling it over her head.

Bit flinched as his worst nightmare came true. _“Where did she hear about Nachtschicht, dammit?”_ He stifled a groan as he went to change into suitable party clothes. 

\----

Six hours later Anna showed no signs of slowing down. She was dancing to a throbbing hip-hop beat in one of the party rooms in the club. Bit kept a wary eye on the surroundings, hoping that the rather nondescript civvies Anna had been talked into would help keep her incognito. Her hair was the most recognizable feature of her appearance, but she had rather sensibly rinsed some temporary color into it to dull the fiery ginger and wore it loose instead of in her signature braids. The aviator sunglasses weren't even out of place in the pulsing strobe lights of the dance floor and helped with the disguise.

Kristoff was standing next to Bit and nursing a drink. The man was positively dull, Bit thought. Stolid and trustworthy, but dull. _“Thank Loki for that, Bit. At least he helps temper Anna. Sometimes.”_

With a little bit of luck, another hour or so of the dancing would finally wear her down and they could repair back to the lodge for actual sleep. Lockhart ruminated on another young junior officer he had chased down in clubs not dissimilar to this one and was grateful that Anna had a little more sense than a young M. C. Fitzwilliam. Or, really, maybe just a few more inhibitions. _“Royal upbringing had to count for something, didn't it?”_

The music ended and Anna grinned as she walked over to the bar and ordered another drink. “Brennivín, bitte!” The bartender smirked as he poured her the shot, then watched her slam it down. “Danke!”

“Uh, LT? How many of those have you had?” Bit realized he hadn't been keeping too close an eye on her alcohol intake and finally noticed the flushed cheeks and silly grin.

“Not too many, Bit. Stop doing an Elsa on me. I'm a big girl!” Anna wasn't a mean drunk, but he now noticed that she **_was_** drunk. 

He was considering methods of talking the princess into exiting the club and returning to her quarters when a rather noisy bunch of men walked into the room and bellied up to the bar. “Uh, oh,” Kristoff muttered.

“Uh, oh? Why uh, oh, Kristoff?” Bit asked.

“Southern Isles fookers, sir. Trouble. I recognize the leader, it's Hans Westergard, the 13th son of the President of the Southern Isles.”

Uh, oh, indeed. Even though Bit had been in Arendelle less than a year, he already knew that there was no love lost between the kingdom and the Southern Isles. And although he had never met the youngest Westergard, he knew that Elsa loathed the father, and would rather marry a reindeer than any scion of that man. The new group added a sharp urgency to getting Anna out of here, quickly. Westergard knew her well enough that he would easily see through her 'disguise'. And if he tried to make a pass at her, all hell would break loose.

“Come on, Kristoff, we need to get her out of here before this blows up.” Bit turned to talk to Anna, desperately trying to come up with a compelling argument that would penetrate Anna's brennivín-sodden brain when a voice cut through the din.

“Well, look who's here, if it isn't the Feisty Princess of Arendelle!” Westergard's smarmy grin begged for something to wipe it away, but Bit couldn't let that happen. Apparently Hans was going for being an ass rather than making a pass.

Anna looked around, puzzled, then managed to focus on Hans. “Well, look who's here, if it isn't the douchecanoe 13thson of a bi – “

“Now, LT, I think we need to get back to quarters, don't you?” Bit tried to step between Anna and her nemesis. The exchange hadn't drawn much attention yet, but it could quickly escalate into something that would be all over social media within minutes, and perhaps the newspapers if Anna got … testy. Kristoff, bless him, stepped up also, flanking Anna's other side and glaring at the Southern Isles contingent.

“Come on, Anna, he's not worth it,” Kristoff muttered into her ear, hoping he could talk some sense into her.

It might have worked if Hans hadn't gone on to laugh and exclaim, “I'm surprised that icy bitch sister of yours lets you out of the castle.” He eyed Bit and Kristoff and added, “Although it appears she sends your babysitters along to keep you out of trouble.”

_“Oh, shit,”_ Bit thought. _“She'll never let an insult to Elsa slide.”_

Fortunately, Kristoff wrapped his arms around Anna and lifted her off her feet before the roundhouse swing she aimed at Westergard's pretty face could land. Flailing, she yelled, “Let me go. Let me rearrange those ridiculous sideburns up his nose!” Kristoff hung on and kept trying to talk her down, ignoring her kicks at his knees and her twisting attempts to free herself from his grasp.

He had almost made it to the door, the thrashing belligerent Princess in his grip, when ...

x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x

“So, she punched that weasel Westergard in the face when he insulted me?” Elsa asked, somewhat mollified at the loyalty Anna showed her and realizing that …

“Uh, actually, no, Your Majesty.” Lockhart blurted out reluctantly. Revel flinched.

“What do you mean, no? Hans wound up in the hospital with a broken nose and a couple of broken ribs, if the diplomatic note from his father is accurate!” Elsa demanded. “The only thing you managed to do RIGHT, Mr. Lockhart, was keep Anna's name out of the papers!” She eyed him with some skepticism, “How DID you arrange for Chief Bjorgman to take the blame for the fight? It seems I owe him a debt of gratitude.”

“That was … because Chief Bjorgman actually did start the fight and beat the hell out of Westergard.”

Elsa's eyebrows rose and she blurted, “He did? I'm surprised Anna let him take the punch at Hans for insulting me.”

The two men in front of her squirmed, their body language screaming at her that she still had it wrong.

“I'm getting tired of this, gentlemen. If the two of you don't explain exactly what happened, we're going to see if the castle dungeons are still functional!”

x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x

“Hey, Reindeer Man! Is Feisty Pants there more fun than your pet?” Hans' mocking voice cut through the din and Kristoff froze. Anna stopped struggling and looked up at her copilot and gulped as she realized his face had turned beet red as he dropped her.

Bit grabbed her and started pulling her toward the door as Kristoff advanced on the Southern Isles men.

“What did you say?” Kristoff's voice was low, but tense. His balled fists were clenching and unclenching as he approached Hans.

“I said, Reindeer Man, that your reputation for animal husbandry is well known. Just asking which is furrier, Feisty Pants there or – “ Hans never finished the sentence as Kristoff's fist slammed into his nose and threw him backwards over the bar.

Bit and Anna stopped, momentarily in awe at the power of Kristoff's punch, then Bit grabbed her again and pulled her along. “Come on, we have to get out of here before the _Polizei_ show up. Elsa will kill me if she reads about you in the paper!”

“We can't leave Kristoff!” Anna protested as she tried to pull away from Bit, but failed.

“He'll be fine. Consider him the rear guard of your retrograde operation. I promise he won't get in trouble with Arendelle for this! Now come on!”

x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x

“ – and then I got her back to quarters without any snoopies getting any pictures. The other guys jumped in to help Kristoff with the Southern Isles gang, and I arranged bail for all of them the next day with many fervent promises to decamp back to Arendelle immediately.” Bit shrugged. “And here we are.”

Elsa stared at him for a moment, then began thumping her head on her desk again. Revel tugged at Bit's sleeve and made a head motion that they should take this opportunity to leave.

Anna was waiting in the outer office with Aggie Vollan, Elsa's private secretary. “Well?” She was worried about Kristoff.

“He'll be okay. Elsa will make sure of it. Even if he wasn't defending your honor, or her honor.” Revel reassured her.

“ANNA!” Elsa's voice came through the door as though it weren't there.

“You, on the other hand … “ Revel muttered. “Let's go, Bit, I think the Queen needs some sister time.”

“Cowards!” Anna glared at them, then gulped and went to the door, a fake smile plastered on her face as she chirped, “Hi, Elsa!”

“Don't you 'Hi, Elsa!' me, you – “ The slamming door cut off any further dialog.

x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x

grrlgeek72 notes: When jedijae decided she would let us play in her sandbox, I knew it was time for another trademarked grrlgeek72 BAR FIGHT! Thanks, jae!


	4. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another awesome contribution by GrrlGeek72! Originally posted for Anna Weekend on Tumblr.
> 
> Note: Takes place before the events of Pin My Wings

Anna braced to a rigid attention, chin tucked in, spine straight, thumbs aligned perfectly with the seams of her uniform trousers.

It didn't matter. The drill instructor screamed spittle at her for being a slack sack of reindeer dung, then pointed and barked, "Gimme fifty in the front leaning rest position, nugget!"

As she strained to complete the pushups, Anna wondered where 'nugget' had come from. The Krigsskolen DI had up to this point called them maggots, knuckleheads, boneheads, little girls (sexist much, sarge?) and other rather creative names intended to grind them down to dust so that they could be rebuilt as warriors that would make their Viking ancestors shed tears of joy and pride. Assuming, of course, their Viking ancestors could tear themselves away from swilling mead in Valhalla long enough to check in on their descendants.

After what seemed like an eternity, she finished the count and tried to leap back to the position of attention. Of course, since the DI was looming over her like the North Mountain, she knocked him over with a blow to his crotch with her head.

Demonstrating the courage and resistance to pain that made all DI's exemplars to their troops, the sergeant fell over backward, clutched himself and shrieked at least an octave higher than the highest note in that stupid song everyone in the kingdom was singing from that ridiculous Disney movie that got so much wrong about Arendelle.

Anna remained on her hands and knees and looked at him in horror, knowing that her tenure at the Krigsskolen had probably just come to the most ignominious end of any cadet ever while the rest of the platoon tried to stifle the giggles and downright guffaws spawned by the sight of the hated DI rolled in agony on the parade ground.

One of the other DI's took charge, screaming "Brace to attention, you maggots! Arendelle! On your feet and neck back, NOW!"

Anna scrambled to her feet and took her place in the platoon,  pulling her chin back until it was practically hitting her spine , trying not to think about how this story would sound to her sister, the Queen. 

The wounded DI was helped to his feet and staggered off, leaning on one of his mates. The remaining DI glared at the platoon, daring them to snicker, giggle or even twitch. They stood like statues, eyes forward, not daring to breathe.

"Okay, blockheads! Fun times are OVER! We will now issue each of you your map sheets and compasses. Tonight, each of you will be dropped off somewhere in the mountains. You will have 48 hours to use the map and compass to find your way back to this base. This is called 'land navigation' and is a required skill for graduation from this institution of military prowess! Dismissed!" He turned on his heel and stalked off.

The cadets stood for a moment, not sure if it was safe to move. Then, slowly, tentatively, looking around and realizing that the DI cadre had indeed left, they relaxed. One of them giggled, then another. It started a torrent that soon had every cadet laughing until tears ran down their cheeks.

"Hey, Arendelle! Nice job! Way to end a career!" 

Anna shook her head ruefully and walked toward the barracks. They had been told the land nav exercise was going to be a test of solo survival. She needed to double check her ruck and maybe catch a nap. It was going to be a long couple of days.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

24 hours later as she stumbled around in a valley, compass in one hand and map in the other, she realized she had underestimated the sadism of the DI's. The cadets had been transported via helicopter and dropped off, blindfolded, and told not to remove the blindfold until they could no longer hear the chopper.

"You have 48 hours from … NOW … Arendelle! See you back at the base!" A rough shove to drop Anna out of the hatch, the choking dust kicked up by the helo inducing a coughing fit, and Anna was alone.

It was still dark. Anna had been one of the last cadets to be dropped, and it was still a couple of hours until sunrise.

_ "Okay, prudence says stumbling around in the dark in these mountains is a good way to disappear down a crevasse and cause Elsa to get a 'Her Majesty the Queen regrets to inform you' letter from the High Command," _ Anna thought, then giggled.  _ “If Elsa got that ‘regret’ letter, it would be from Her to her. How weird is that? _

_ OK, no letters, let's find a sheltered spot, curl up in our poncho, and catch some winks until sunrise." _

She used her flashlight sparingly – the batteries needed to be conserved. Luckily, there was a grouping of boulders close by that created a sort of shelter out of the wind. Anna unrolled her poncho, used her ruck as a pillow, drank some water from her canteen and snuggled in to wait for the dawn. 

"Ah – ah – CHOO!" The sunlight on her face had caused her to sneeze. Anna looked at her watch and jumped up, cursing. It was at least three hours past sunrise, long past the time she had intended to get moving. "Dammit!"

_ "Great time to oversleep, Princess!" _ she berated herself. Knowing that the DI's would cut her the least amount of slack of anyone in the platoon, she assumed that her trip back to base would be long and difficult. And truth be told, she wasn't that great with the whole map and compass thingy.

After drinking more water, chowing down on a MRE  _ "'Meal Ready to Eat', two lies in one," _ she grumbled, Anna found a convenient spot to tinkle in the woods.  Frankly, this was the only part of her life where even the slightest hint of penis envy had ever entered her mind. The Army had tried to invent something to help the female soldiers, but … Fortunately, she had become adept at not getting any on her shoes.

Cleaning her hands and face with an antiseptic wipe, Anna felt refreshed and ready to take on the challenge!

Unfolding the topographic map, she used the compass to find north, oriented the map appropriately, then tried to match the surrounding countryside to the squiggly lines on the map. This was harder than it sounds, as the map was a 2-D representation of a very 3-D landscape.

_ “Okay, magnetic declination is … +4 degrees 6 minutes, so …” _

Anna carefully set the compass ring, then tried to translate the squiggly lines on the topographic map to the surrounding landscape. She took her time, knowing that she wasn’t very good at this part. Finally, she was fairly confident she knew where she was, and which way she needed to move to get back to the basecamp.

“Okay, Anna, you can do this!” She shouldered her ruck, check the compass heading one last time and started off.

It was close to sunset when she stopped for another check of the map. She munched on another MRE while she did so, then finished the water in her canteen. 

If she hadn’t screwed up too badly, she was about 5 miles from where she needed to be. Glancing up at the sun, or rather, where the sun should be if it wasn’t clouded over, she decided she could afford to push on into the evening, at least until it got too dark to wander through the wooded hills safely.

_ “Need to refill the canteen at the next stream I find. According to this, there should be one coming up. Ugh.” _

The ‘ugh’ was because she would have to use several water purification tablets, no matter how clear and cold the water was. Just because a stream looked pristine, there was no guarantee that some large animal hadn’t died and was decomposing upstream somewhere.

Several hours later, Anna was just topping a rise, and saw a few twinkling lights down in a valley below her.

_ “Oh, yay! I must have made better time than I thought!” _ She decided to push on toward the lights.

Unfortunately, she didn’t see the rock embedded in the ground, tripped over it, and tumbled ass over teakettle down the hillside, landing in the stream she had been looking for.

“Cold, cold, cold … OWW!” Apparently she had twisted her ankle in the tumble, and could barely stand on that leg. She was also soaking wet and muddy.

Anna managed to drag herself out of the stream and sit with her back against a tree. 

_ “Well, damn, this is going to make it hard to get back to base. And I’ll be late, and they won’t know where I am and I don’t have any bandages to support the ankle and … “ _ Anna indulged in a little brain cudgeling over her clumsiness, then slumped back against the tree. After a short period of self-pity she pulled her ruck off and started rummaging through it. “Ah, pain pills!” She popped a couple of the ibuprofen and washed them down dry. She hadn’t had time to fill the canteen and purify the water.

The night air was chilly, even in August, this high in the mountains. Wrapping herself in her poncho, Anna hoped hypothermia wasn’t going to be a problem. She fell into a troubled doze.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

“Ms. Vollan, I need to speak to Her Majesty immediately, if it’s not too much trouble.” 

Aggie Vollan, Queen Elsa’s Privy Secretary, looked up from her keyboard at the General standing in front of her desk, looking so much like a small boy in front of the school principal that she almost giggled. Almost. The Queen deserved nothing but the utmost dignity from her close associates.

“I’ll check, General, please have a seat.” He looked pained, then did as she asked.

Going into the office, Aggie found Elsa in her usual pose: focused and intense, her computer with several tabs open and a scatter of papers on the desk. The Queen was sipping a coffee while scrolling through a document on the screen. She looked up when Aggie cleared her throat. “Yes, Aggie? What do you need?”

“General Thorssen is here, Your Majesty, asking to speak to you. He didn’t say why.”

Elsa frowned. Thorssen was the post commander of the Krigsskolen. Why would he … ? Elsa’s stomach lurched as she thought of one reason he needed to speak to her. Her dismay wasn’t reflected in her face, however, so she carefully put down her coffee cup, straightened the papers into a tidy pile, then said, “Bring him in, Aggie.”

The Secretary knew Elsa too well not to have noticed the brief flash of emotion that had crossed her Queen’s face. But she also knew better than to comment.

General Thorssen came in, stood at attention in front of Elsa’s desk and bowed. “Your Majesty, thank you for fitting me into your busy schedule.”

“And to what do I owe this rather unexpected visit, General?”

The man hesitated, then said, “It’s about the Crown Princess, Your Majesty.”

Elsa’s face was a mask. She would get reports of Anna’s … antics … occasionally through official channels. Her sister had stormed out of the castle in a cloud of hurtful words six months ago when she had informed Elsa that she wanted to serve in Arendelle’s military. The two sisters hadn’t spoken, hadn’t seen each other since. Elsa brushed off any attempts by her staff to share communications from Anna, refused to acknowledge the letters and texts Anna sent. The hurt was still too raw.

Sighing, Elsa said, “And what has she done this time, General?”

“Ah, gotten lost in the mountains, Your Majesty.” He winced as the Queen sat bolt upright and the temperature dropped precipitously.

Glaring at him, Elsa tried to control her sudden surge of emotion and managed to ask, “What do you mean by ‘lost’, General?”  _ “Calmly, Elsa, calmly. If this were … more serious, he would be more agitated.” _

The General explained the exercise that the cadets had been engaged in, then finished with, “ -- and she was due in 24 hours ago. She’s the only missing cadet, we immediately began a search in the area where she SHOULD be, but haven’t found her yet.” The temperature dropped again, and he hastened to add, “Your Majesty, we’re sure to find her. Although the exercise area is remote and rugged, there are several small towns and villages and she is probably just … “ He stopped as Elsa held up a hand.

“I trust that you will find her, General. Please inform me when you do. Thank you for stopping by.” Her tone of dismissal was unmistakable.

“Yes, Your Majesty.” He bowed and left as quickly as his dignity allowed.

Aggie was waiting for him in the outer office and asked, “May I ask what you spoke to the Queen about, General? I felt the temperature … change.”

He looked over his shoulder at the closed office door and shook his head. “She’s a … cool one, isn’t she?” He repeated what he had told Elsa. “I had expected more of a … reaction.”

“The Queen cares about the Crown Princess very much, General. She tries to present a calm demeanor at all times, however. Thank you for coming by.”

As the sound of his footsteps faded down the hallway, Aggie walked to the door and knocked. There was no response, but she had expected none. She went in anyway.

Elsa was standing at the window, arms wrapped around herself, a small patch of ice at her feet. “Yes, Aggie?” Her voice was soft but firm.

“Is there … anything I can do for you, Your Majesty?”

“Do, Aggie? No, I’m fine. Thank you.” Elsa didn’t turn to look at her Secretary.

Aggie knew better than to press. “As you say, Your Majesty. You have an appointment in 15 minutes with Minister Stenhammer about the new fishing treaty with Sweden.”

“Thank you. Would you please have more coffee sent in? Mine seems to have … become cold.”

When Aggie took the coffee cup off the desk, the coffee wasn’t cold -- it was a solid chunk of ice.

Elsa had finished her day and was preparing for bed, helped by her maidservant of long standing. Gerda was concerned. The Queen was generally taciturn, but tonight she was … more withdrawn than usual.

“I’m sure Anna will be fine, Your Majesty.” Aggie Vollan had called to let Gerda know when Elsa was on her way to the residence, and filled in the older woman on the Anna situation. Elsa hadn’t said a word about it.

Elsa didn’t even glance at Gerda. She continued to brush out her hair, then carefully put down the brush and stood to go to bed, not responding to the comment.

“Goodnight, Gerda.”

Like Aggie, Gerda wasn’t fooled. She was as dismayed as any of the close retainers of the Royal Family by the rift between the two sisters. As Elsa’s maid, privy to the royal bedchamber, there were rather more mornings than she cared for that the pillows on Elsa’s bed were suspiciously … damp.

She suspected tomorrow morning would be another one. She left, quietly closing the door behind her.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Anna was shivering so hard that she could barely hold the canteen to her mouth to drink. She had managed to drag herself to the stream to fill it, then add the purification tablets. But it had been a couple of days since her accident, and she hadn’t been able to make much progress toward her goal, even with a makeshift walking stick to help support her.

This was the third night in the mountains, and she could see the lights of the town through the trees, tantalizingly close, but so far.

She had managed to gather enough fallen branches the last couple of nights to light a fire, but tonight was harder. She felt woozy, light-headed. Her ankle hurt, she was out of ibuprofen, and her hands were shaking so bad she wasn’t sure she’d be able to light the match and start the fire. She dragged herself around, picking up branches and pine cones, and built them into a pile like she had been taught. She sat heavily, then pulled out the small metal container of waterproof matches.

Her first attempt to strike one failed as she dropped it. “Come on, Anna, you can do this.” She picked up the match, then tried again. It lit, then she touched it to the tinder. The fire caught, and Anna leaned back against the tree in relief.

She wrapped herself in her poncho and dozed off.

“Hey, Cadet! Wake up!”   
  


Anna found herself being shaken. Confused, she opened her eyes to find one of her DI’s standing over her. “Huh?”

“You sure had us worried, Cadet.” The sergeant reached for his radio and clicked the mike, “Hey, LT, I found her. We’re at map coordinates … “ the man looked at his map and rattled off a string of numbers. “She’s okay, but looks like she sprained her ankle. I think we’re going to need a ride back to base.”

Several hours later, Anna was being checked out in the infirmary. The bed felt heavenly after three nights sleeping on dirt and pine needles. And the pain pills the doctors were allowed to give her beat the ibuprofen all hollow.

“So, Cadet, the ankle sprain shouldn’t keep you down for more than a few days, lots of hot fluids should take care of the minor dehydration, and you should be back at full speed by Monday.”

Anna wasn’t really listening to the doctor rattle off the diagnosis. She was watching a full General come stalking down the hall to her bedside. The cadets didn’t usually see the top brass. The lieutenant commanding their platoon wasn’t even around much, as the Drill Instructors had day to day responsibility for the cadets. Anna wondered how much trouble she was in.

_ “Well, at least Elsa won’t be getting a letter from herself,” _ Anna thought sourly. For about the thousandth time, Anna wished she could take back the harsh words she had yelled as she stomped out of Elsa’s office six months ago. But her sister was a stubborn one, and Anna’s letters, calls and texts had gone unanswered or even acknowledged. Not that any of the communications had included apologies, Anna was as stubborn as Elsa in some ways.

After the General had left, once he had been reassured that Anna was in only minor discomfort and would be back in the platoon in a few days, she was alone again.

She fell asleep, but it was a troubled sleep. There was a recurring dream she had every couple of weeks since she had left the castle. She was in the castle, wandering the halls, it was dark and the shifting shadows were looming and ominous. She was looking for something, but she wasn’t sure what. There was always a shadowy shape ahead, just turning a corner of the hallway, she could never catch up.

In the morning, as she waited for breakfast, she realized what she was looking for in the dreams. She was looking for Elsa, her sister.

The General had assured Anna that the Queen had asked after her wellbeing and was glad that she was going to be back on duty shortly.

But Anna was struck by the fact that her sister hadn’t reached out personally, even now. 

_ “Have I lost her for good?” _

Anna felt tears well up and squelched them fiercely. She would NOT let them see her cry.

  
  



	5. To The Colors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soldiers may be among the most patriotic people in their countries, but how do you handle an anthem that sounds like a dirge?
> 
> This absolutely brilliant chapter was contributed by Wandering Bard from the Id.

Anna made her way toward the hangar serving as office and training space for the base. The sun had barely broken the horizon, and the humidity was already overwhelming. She was certain she’d melt before reaching the sputtering air- conditioned haven within the hanger.

_What idiot calls a last-minute meeting at the crack of dawn? Somebody better be dead, or announcing world peace._ She raised a hand, squinting against the blinding sun. It was bad enough she’d been drug from an alcohol induced sleep, but she hadn’t even had time for a cup of coffee.

From across the clearing she spied Kristoff slinking toward the hanger. _Poor guy, I know he’s hurting after last night._ He threw a hand up in her general direction, and though he was too far away to hear it she grunted in response.

As they came close enough to speak without having to shout, Anna opened her mouth to ask how his head was. The words died on her lips as the first notes of reveille began to crackle over the camp loud speakers.

Their wide eyes met as each realized their mistake.

“Colors!” Kristoff’s voice carried over the camp like a battle cry.

“Aw, shit.” Anna bolted for the hanger.

With the hanger bay door closed, Anna zeroed in on the door beside it. Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only one targeting it. A group of American airmen appeared from out of nowhere in a dead sprint. They reached the door at the same time as a group of Arendelle Marines.

While Elsa may have been the math expert in the family, it didn’t take a genius to know all of them weren’t going to fit through that door at the same time.

Anna veered off to the far side of the building, Kristoff followed her lead. She side-vaulted over a concrete barrier without missing a beat. Behind her Kristoff hurdled it with room to spare. She could hear his boots against the hard-packed dirt. They were getting closer.

As she suspected the side entrance was clear. Two noncoms yanked open the door and darted inside, pulling it closed as Anna drew closer.

_Gee, thanks fellows. You could at least hold the door for an officer and lady._ Her lips curled into a broad smile as her hand came to rest on the handle. She was surprised to find it cool to the touch. _They must be cranking the ac._

She caught the handle, pulling it down and back. It didn’t budge. Her momentum carried her into the door. It shook under the body slam but held firm. She tugged on the handle, but it wouldn’t yield.

“Anna!” Kristoff barked her name, as he came to attention, and snapped a hand up in salute.

Forced to accept defeat, Anna stepped away from the door, cursing under her breath. Unable to see the flag from her current position, she hoped she was at least facing the right direction as she mirrored Kristoff’s stance.

Anna watched a bead of sweat roll down Kristoff’s flush cheek, while reveille played through. It was followed by the American national anthem, after all it was a U.S. military base.

As the American anthem droned on, Anna was glad she’d used her pull as princess to get them to stop playing the Arendelle anthem. How a country as rich in musical culture as Arendelle had managed to create the longest, most depressing anthem in history was beyond her.

She remembered a tutor telling her with great pride, it had been written a couple of centuries before, by a member of the royal family. After years of being forced to stand through it during royal events, the mere mention of it made her want to kick old cousin tone deaf whatshisface in the gonads.

On the heels of the American anthem, the Central African anthem began, in honor of the host country. At least, they’d had the good sense to keep it short and sweet.

_Just a little longer, and I’m home free._ Her lips twitched upward at the thought. Sweat trickled down her back and beyond. _Great, it’s not even 0700 and I’ve already got swamp ass._ She was looking forward to getting through the meeting and into a cold shower.

As the final notes of the Central African anthem faded Anna’s shoulders relaxed. She started to lower her hand, when the familiar opening of the Arendelle anthem began.

“Oh, fuck me! Seriously?!”

Several soldiers in earshot snickered at her outburst.

_Wait? They’re only supposed to play the anthem when Elsa is on the base. So why…?_ She stole a glance at the door. Through the chicken wire enforced glass, Lockhart stood with a shit eating grin, and a coffee mug raised in salute. Next to him stood the Queen of Arendelle in all her glory.

Excitement at seeing her sister was tempered as she noticed the faint shine of ice around the door lock. Elsa offered her the sweetest smile ever, raising a hand, and wiggling her fingers in a little wave.

Anna’s eyes narrowed as she mouthed, _stinker_.

Elsa blew her a kiss.

“I’m going to kill her.” Anna growled through clenched teeth.

Kristoff failed to hide a smirk. “You know, if you kill her, you become Queen.”

“Stop ruining my revenge fantasies with facts.”

He chuckled.

After several minutes, the anthem finally ended. Everyone began to move on with their business. Anna hurried to the door. It opened with ease.

The hallway had been cleared to give the sisters some privacy. Lockhart and Revel stood watch at the far end, while Kristoff guarded the door.

Elsa was waiting with open arms and a satisfied smile. “Hey, little sister.”

Anna wrapped her in a tight hug. “I thought you weren’t coming till tomorrow?”

“Change in plans, I wanted to surprise you.”

“Oh, you surprised me.” Anna released her.

Elsa dropped her arms. Before she could step back Anna wrapped her in a bear hug, pinning her arms to her sides.

“Anna, what…stop!”

Elsa began to squirm, as strong fingers dug into her sides.

“Stop…it…!” She laughed, as the fingers tickled up and down her ribs. “I mean it.” Her attempt at authority collapsed in a squeal as the fingers dug deep.

“Oh no, you’re not getting off that easy.” Anna held tight as Elsa tried in vain to wiggle free. Her normally articulate sister was reduced to gasped threats, pleas and insults about being freakishly strong.

She was about to claim victory, when cold shot through her fatigues. Anna squealed, releasing Elsa as she jumped back, rubbing her numb backside.

“You froze my ass?!”

“Language, Anna.” Elsa tsked, brushing back a stray bang from her flushed face. An impish grin on her lips.

“I’ll give you language…you…you…snow wielding…troll…” Unable to find the words to express her frustration, Anna wagged a finger in Elsa’s face. “This…means war!”

A broad smile spread over Elsa’s face as her eyes softened with affection. “I missed you.”

Anna’s indignation waned. “I missed you, too.”

“Truce?”

“Truce.” Anna took Elsa’s arm in a two-handed grip. “Come on, I’ll buy you a cup of bad coffee.”

Elsa leaned into her. “Sounds good.”

As they started down the hallway Anna held her a little closer. “So, how hard would it be to change our national anthem?”


	6. A Day in the Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being the primary bodyguard to the Princess of Arendelle isn't the toughest job Bit Lockhart has ever had - if tough means the risk of being maimed or killed. But being a badass (ex)Special Forces operator wasn't nearly as challenging as keeping up with one small red-headed princess...
> 
> This gem was written by the brilliant StillSlightlyNerdy. Originally posted on Tumblr for the Frozen Fandom OC Exchange

“The PROBLEM is you told her boxing was the road to ‘the aviation attitude.’” Bit Lockhart let his annoyance show as Fitz’s smug face grinned back at him through the Skype connection. “Now she’s all obsessed about learning to box.”

“And it is.” Fitz leaned back in what looked like an office chair. Clearly she wasn’t on a mission, her missions didn’t involve clean hotel rooms and Skype. Of course, neither had his. “Nothing like being up close and personal with someone who wants to cause you pain to test your poise under pressure.”

“But she’s the ef —” He bit back the curse, then he remembered who he was talking to “ —fucking Princess. She needs her face unbruised — unbroken. And all of her brain cells healthy.”

“Boxing didn’t hurt my stunning visage.” Fitz drew a circle in the air around her face and then posed with her hands under her chin. Damn woman even batted her eyelashes. 

“Because you have those long monkey arms and no good sense anyway. Arendelle’s what? Tit high on you?”

“At least shoulder.”

“And God help me when Queen Elsa finds out,” Bit moaned.

Fitz expression turned from a smirk to earnest excitement faster than Bit could blink. She even blushed a little. It was an unnerving sight on the cockiest woman — no person — he knew. “Speaking of ….” She started hesitantly.

“No. I am not funneling you any “candid pix” of the Queen of Arendelle for you to decorate your locker with or — or God knows what.”

“I am not that sort of woman,” Fitz sniffed. “Besides it’s better if you get a real person to wear a blonde wig.”

Bit nearly swallowed his tongue. “And now, I can NOT unsee that.”

“Love you like a brother. And if I had one I might share with him, too.”

“Why do I even answer your calls?” Bit reached his hand toward his touch screen. “Listen, I gotta go. There’s a state dinner tonight. Duty calls.”

“You mean you didn’t wear that tux just for me? Now I’m wounded.”

Bit shook his head. “Goodbye, Fitz.”

“Wait, wait — just, you know, let her uh, Elsa, know I would be happy to give the LT some personal flight training. Training from the best damn helicopter pilot in the whole wide world. She just has to say the word and maybe put in for a TDA request.”

“Hang it up and goodbye, Fitz.” Bit answered.

“Night Stalkers never quit!” Fitz shot back as the screen went black.

Bit chuckled to himself as he closed up his laptop and finished getting dressed. He had learned that once you put on your pants and your jacket sitting was no longer an option, not if you wanted to remain wrinkle free. And he would be damned if he let Revel look more put together than he did. It was a point of pride. He might have the active get-into-trouble-while-running-through-Arendelle’s-countryside Princess while Revel’s job came with permanent air conditioning, but Anna’s “special attache” as they called him, would look just as good as the Queen’s.

This job, special attaché, or really Babysitter-in-Chief for the Princess of Arendelle, wasn’t the hardest job he’d ever had, if hard meant risk of dying or worse. But it was the strangest and possibly the roughest on his nerves. Kosovo, Somalia, Iraq, Afghanistan, CAR, none of his previous duty stations had held the challenges that came with keeping up with and not losing sight of one short red-headed princess. Plus there were things he would never get used to like the fact that he owned two tuxes now. The suits that he wore every day weren’t bad, like a uniform of sorts. In fact Anna had laughed when she saw his closet of six identical gray suits each a hand’s width apart from six identical blue shirts. He also had drawers full of blue polos and matching khakis for days when Anna was letting her hair down or just moving at her normal faster than light speed. Fortunately blue socks and well-shined black oxfords went with everything. Well, tonight he had on black socks.

Bit gave himself one last look in the mirror and nodded. He did look good in this suit, though.

His room was on the same hall, almost next to Anna’s, so it was a short walk to knock on her door. He glanced at the expensive gold watch on his wrist, a gift from the Queen and valued at more than his yearly salary, and headed out into the hall to get the Princess going.

This was the reason Elsa had given him the watch, or at least what she told him. Royal protocol required that the Queen be the last to enter any room or gathering so that everyone in attendance could stand and bow if appropriate. Apparently Elsa had gotten very tired of waiting somewhere out of the way but near the engagement she was supposed to be at for her sister. Even now it took Bit’s best efforts to make that wait shorter if not exactly non-existent.

He knocked and immediately one of Anna’s lady’s maids opened the door.

“It’s Sir Edward, Your Highness,” she called back over her shoulder. The first time someone had called him “Sir Edward” he had spent a good five minutes looking around to see who that was. “What shall I tell him?”

“Tell him to get his butt in here and help!” Anna sounded frazzled and distracted even for Anna. 

“Your Highness, it’s ti …..” Bit stopped mid-sentence as he took in the sight before him. Anna wasn’t fully dressed, in fact she hadn’t even put on her dress yet. He knew that because one maid was holding it out for her. Another maid was rummaging through Anna’s closet, at least that’s what he thought was happening. Anna’s closet looked like someone had taken a store full of dresses and stuffed them all in at once. One pair of sensible shoes and one pair of stocking feet protruded from under the bed. 

“Hey, Sergeant!” Anna’s voiced called out. Then there was an audible clunk and the bed jerked upward. “Ow! Shit! Fuck!”

“Your Highness,” one maid answered, “Language.”

The one in the closet added, “Your hair, watch your hair. Please.”

Anna shimmied out from under the bed holding her head. She was in a variety of constraining undergarments and a slip. She thrust the top of her head toward Bit. “It’s not bleeding is it? Tell me it’s not bleeding.”

“It’s not bleeding, Your Highness.” Bit was torn between laughter and tears. Elsa was no doubt already downstairs waiting.

“Oh, stop. Everyone calls me that here.”

“It’s still not bleeding, LT.”

“Better.” Anna whirled around and helped up the maid who had just emerged from under her bed. “Listen. I don’t know where I left them, and we can’t find them, but Elsa has a great pair of green heels, and I know she’s not wearing them tonight. Go run down and ask her if I can borrow them, please.”

“Um, I don’t think she’s …” the maid looked to Lockhart for help. 

“The Queen is not going to be in her room.” He pointed at the time on his watch.

“It’s that late, oh shit, shit, shit!”

“Language.”

“Put your arms up, and we can put on this dress.”

Anna came to a decision and put her arms up. “OK, run down and get them.”

“Your Highness?”

“What? It’s not like she needs them now. I need them now. This is about the greater need. And besides if she tries to execute you for stealing from the crown, I’ll pardon you or something. Just go. Go. Go. Please.”

“I’ll go.” Bit was more than willing to risk execution, or more likely the Queen’s frosty ire, to get his charge down where she needed to be sometime before midnight.

Elsa’s suite wasn’t much farther away from her sister’s than his own, and he moved briskly. He knocked on the outer door. When no one answered, he opened it and walked through the sitting room to the door to Elsa’s bedroom. He knocked again. He was just opening it when he felt the temperature drop. He turned smoothly and gave a short neck bow.

“She’s not ready is she?” Elsa was smiling, but she was also throttling the itinerary she had in her hand like she was wringing a chicken’s neck. Except Lockhart figured she wasn’t thinking of a chicken.

“No, ma’am.” He took a breath. “And she was hoping to borrow your green heels.”

“Again!”

“It’s probably not completely necessary.” Bit answered deadpan. “I did see her combat boots near the door, ma’am.”

“Right.” Then Elsa laughed. Bit never did see why people found the Queen so intimidating, but he did love to hear her laugh. “Fine.” She turned to her maid. “Third pair on the left on the second shelf.”

As Bit carried the petite heels back to the Princess’s room, he thought again. Definitely the strangest job he had ever had.


	7. Long Live the Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Submitted by GrrlGeek72 - this is an au of the "Pin My Wings" au, which is the property of jedijae/thegeekogecko and written by grrlgeek72 with jedijae's kind permission. Also, "M.C. Fitzwilliam" is a character created and fleshed out by stillslightlynerdy (elym13 on tumblr). Revel Handler was originated by J.E. Glass.
> 
> We borrow each other's characters, don't you know?
> 
> Jae and I were kicking some concepts around and I came up with this one, because … well, you'll see.
> 
> Warning: I'm known for bar fights and wringing tears from my readers.
> 
> This story is not about bar fights. Bring hankies.
> 
> This chapter led to its own stand-alone story over on FFN. It does not fall within the 'canon' PMW-verse.

**Long Live the Queen**

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"To the Queen!" intoned Ensign Frollstern, the most junior officer at the table.

"The Queen!" responded the rest of the soldiers sitting around the table at the Inn overlooking the shore of the fjord in Arendelle city.

"My sister, long may she reign!" intoned Crown Princess Anna of Arendelle, then slammed back the glass of Brennevin. The rest did as well, having politely deferred to the Princess.

"Bartender, another round, here!" Anna waved at the woman making drinks.

"Uh, LT, are you sure that's smart? We've been wetting down those new Captain's bars for a while now!" Bit Lockhart was Anna's permanent bodyguard. Had been for several years. He still had a hard time keeping up with his young charge.

"Oh, chill, Bit! You sound more like Elsa with every passing year! And I am no longer an LT!" Anna's silly grin showed that she had indeed been celebrating her latest promotion for some time.

"You'll always be LT to me, LT. That first assignment of mine, chasing you through the damned African jungle dodging bullets kinda seared that into my brain!" Bit sipped at his drink, a fuzzy head was contraindicated for someone charged with keeping a Princess alive in the course of a rather daredevil life. Between dodging bullets from unfriendly strangers to flying SAR missions that few sane pilots would attempt, Bit was turning gray fast.

_"Of course, Anna's mentor and role model ISN'T one of the few sane pilots, is she now?"_ Bit thought to himself.

He was referring to Colonel M.C. Fitzwilliam, USA, hotshot pilot and commanding officer of the US Army's Special Operations Aviation Regiment. Fitz, as she was known, had literally come swooping in to save both Bit and Anna in the course of that first mission. Anna had bonded with her immediately, like a duckling imprinting on its mother. And decided to emulate Fitz in every way possible, including becoming a helicopter pilot.

The party went on until the wee hours, long past the normal closing time of the establishment. But no bar, inn, or restaurant in Arendelle was going to kick out the Crown Princess. They'd keep serving until she staggered out on her own or the Queen sent someone to fetch her.

"It's unfortunate Elsa got called to Brussels to try to referee that dustup," Bit commented. Arendelle's neutrality and previous diplomatic work had led to Elsa being considered **just** the person to moderate some of the more contentious disagreements among the various pieces that fell out of the breakup of the European Union.

Anna shrugged. "I wish she had been here to pin on the bars, but we agreed to get together when she got back." Anna took a drink and said, wistfully, "I haven't seen enough of her thanks to this last deployment. It'll be good to spend some time together and catch up."

"Okay, last call! One more round and back to quarters!" Anna waved her glass at her comrades.

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"Wake up! Please wake up, Your Majesty!"

Someone was shaking Anna's shoulder and it made the pounding in her head worse. She pulled away and buried her face in her pillow and mumbled, "Go 'way, it's Sunday, no duty. Sleep!"

The shaking stopped, but Anna felt someone sit on the bed and caress her shoulder more gently. "Anna, please, wake up. We … need to talk."

Recognition of the voice penetrated Anna's hangover. It was Gerda. What was she doing in the BOQ of the Arendelle garrison? Anna tried to sit up, failed, but managed to roll over. "Gerda?"

The first voice spoke again, "Your Majesty, please! It's urgent!"

Anna's eyes were still tightly shut against the bright sunlight streaming through the window so she didn't see the glare of anger Gerda sent at the Admiral standing in the room.

A weak groan escaped Anna's lips as she wondered what the hell the man was babbling on about. "Her Majesty" was Elsa, not Anna. Anna was properly addressed as "Your Highness", until and unless something happened … to … the … Queen.

Anna sat bolt upright and stared at Gerda, all traces of alcohol dissolved by the adrenaline shooting through her body. "Gerda? What's wrong?"

Her face red, eyes brimming with tears, Gerda tried to speak and couldn't. Now Anna was frightened. She had never seen Gerda like this before. No, she **had** seen this before – the night Anna and Elsa had been told about their parents.

Throwing back the blankets, Anna sat up next to Gerda and looked around her room. Bit was standing just inside the door, arms crossed, his face a grim mask. The Admiral was the highest ranking officer in Arendelle's military, reflecting the maritime heritage of the Kingdom.

"What's wrong? Tell me!" Anna demanded. 

Admiral Haldorsen stood to attention and said, "Your Majesty, it is my sad duty to inform you that Arendelle has lost its Queen in a tragic accident. Queen Elsa is dead. Long live Queen Anna of Arendelle." Then he bowed.

There. Those words. The words Anna had never ever wanted to hear. Elsa was … dead? No, this is just a drunken nightmare!

The stifled sob from Gerda jerked Anna up short. No, not a nightmare. Or rather, a nightmare of reality.

Anna put her arm around Gerda, trying to comfort the older woman while her own brain rattled around trying to make sense of what was happening. She knew she was in shock, that the impact hadn't hit with full force yet. That would come, it was inevitable, but for now there was a wrapping of fuzziness to her thoughts that was insulating her from the horror of losing Elsa, losing her sister.

"What happened?" Anna asked. "What kind of an accident?" Her voice was soft, a little rough.

The Admiral cleared his throat and said, "Her plane was on approach to Arendelle when we lost contact. It just fell off the radar. There was no radio calls of a Mayday, or any other indication that there was a problem. When we sent out a full Search and Rescue force, the Navy found a debris field about 5 miles out from shore. The markings indicate the wreckage was from the Queen's plane." He stopped, then went on, "There were no survivors found. Dive teams are going down to search as we speak."

"No survivors YET. You may not have found them YET?" Anna knew it was a slender reed to lean on.

"It is … unlikely, Your Majesty." Anna hated that title, she almost, ALMOST screamed at him to stop using it. "The water temperature this far north at this time of year would … be fatal within minutes."

"Not for my sister! Cold wouldn't bother her!" Anna was grasping at straws now.

"That's true. But I am sorry that I can't give you false hope, Your Majesty. The condition of the wreckage we found makes it unlikely that anyone survived the crash to make it into the water." He continued, "As I said, we have dive teams going down now." He cleared his throat again. "If I may be excused, Your Majesty? I need to get back to the command center and coordinate the search for the remains of the aircraft." He tactfully left out the part about remains of the people on board.

Anna nodded, she no longer trusted herself to speak. The Admiral left, Bit closed the door behind him, then sat heavily in one of the chairs. Anna leaned into Gerda, feeling the tears coming and no longer wanting to hold them back. She rocked back and forth in Gerda's embrace and let the grief take her.

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It was dark now.

Anna had gotten dressed, with Gerda's help, packed up her stuff from the BOQ and gone back to the Castle with Gerda, Bit, and a very grim squad of Queen's Own. At the castle, Anna refused to go into the Queen's Apartments, choosing her old room instead. 

The day had been a whirlwind of meetings, conference calls, more meetings, and updates from the Admiral. The search effort continued through the night, as sunlight never penetrated to the ocean floor at the crash site in any case.

Search sonar had located what looked like wreckage at a spot where the water was about 500 meters deep. Special ROVs were being used to go down and map the debris field, but they were too small to be able to bring anything to the surface. The US Navy had volunteered one of their deep sea dive teams equipped with special atmospheric diving suits (ADS). They would arrive in the morning and go down and try to recover any … bodies.

Anna lay on her bed, her arm thrown across her eyes, no more tears for now, she had exhausted them for the time being. Her thoughts kept running around like a puffin on a hamster wheel.

A soft knock on the door pulled her out of her reverie. "What?" Anna snarled. She had left strict instructions that she was not to be disturbed.

"Anna, it's me, Bit. I wouldn't bother you, but Fitz called me. She tried to call you but it rolled right to voicemail."

"Ugh. Hang on, I think I turned my phone off last night and just threw it in my duffle." Anna dragged herself to the closet and rummaged around until the missing phone was located. "Come on in, Bit."

She cursed as the phone didn't immediately come to life. Dead battery, no doubt. Anna sat on the bed and pulled a charger out of the bedstand drawer, plugged it in, and waited for the phone to turn on.

Of course, there were a thousand missed calls and unread messages. Anna had some pretty strong filters on her phone, so there were probably ten thousand calls and messages from newsies and other professional snoops that never made it through.

Anna scrolled through the list, then stopped dead and dropped the phone.

Bit said, "Anna? What's wrong?" His charge had turned white as every bit of blood drained from her face.

"Elsa. There's a voicemail from Elsa …" Anna reached down, her hand visibly shaking, picked up the phone and managed to punch up voicemail after three tries. She stifled a sob as her sister's voice spoke to her.

_"Hi, honey! We just took off from Brussels! Ugh! The usual nonsense – the Muscovians are stirring the pot again and now apparently Hans has decided to hitch his wagon to_ _Imanovajov_ _and Muscovia."_ Anna could hear the eyeroll in her sister's voice. The recording continued, _"But enough of idiots trying to play dominance games. I'm really sorry I had to miss your promotion ceremony and I promise I'll make it up to you! I'm clearing my calendar for the next couple of days and we'll do all the special stuff we do when we haven't seen each other for too long!"_ Elsa's voice turned soft and gentle. _"I love you, Anna. Miss you. Really looking forward to the warm hug I know you'll have for me! Bye for now!"_

All Anna could do was stare at the phone in her shaking hand. She had missed Elsa's call because she had been in a drunken stupor and … the phone shattered against the wall as Anna threw it with every ounce of strength she had. Then she began to sob.

Bit wasn't sure what to do. He finally went and sat down next to Anna and put an arm around her. She turned into him and cried even harder while he tried to make soothing sounds and comfort her as best he could.

_"I wonder if this really was an accident,"_ Bit thought to himself. The Queen's airplane was probably better cared for and maintained than Air Force One. It was the very newest model of 12-passenger jet, sleek and modern, totally fly-by-wire with all the latest safety features. It was checked and re-checked every time the Queen was scheduled to use it. It was guarded around the clock by humorless Arendelle Marines, whether in its own hangar in Arendelle and even more vigilantly if it was somewhere else, like Brussels. NO ONE who was not a vetted citizen of Arendelle was allowed near that plane. It couldn't be sabotaged, not with that kind of security. Bit shrugged to himself and pushed the thought away.

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The next afternoon, Anna blew off everyone who wanted her attention and went to the Command Center where Admiral Haldorsen and his staff were coordinating the search effort. The US Navy team was at the wreck site and transmitting pictures of what they were seeing. The view was limited because the only light was from the lamps on the dive suits.

"It's the Queen's plane, all right." A voice with an American accent was speaking. "The tail number is visible on the chunk of fuselage that broke off." There was a grunt of effort. Moving around in the hard suits was non-trivial. "The rest of the fuselage is pretty broken up. Must have hit the water at high speed. We're going to check for … uh, passenger seats." There was silence except for the sibilant breathing of the diver.

Every eye was glued to the monitors that showed what the cameras on the dive suits saw. The water was murky, even with the spotlights from the dive lamps. Anna could see what looked to be seats, but they were crumpled and smashed. The lamp swung and there was what looked to be a body … The picture went to black.

"No, Your Majesty. We're not going to watch this in real time." Admiral Haldorsen interrupted what Anna was about to say. She had immediately turned to him when the screen blanked out. His face was grimly determined. "We're going to let the divers do their recovery, and bring our friends and our Queen back to us. But we aren't going to watch."

Anna suddenly realized that she didn't want to see what was down there. Because it had to be bad, very bad. She nodded, then tried to speak and failed. She cleared her throat and finally managed, "You're right, Admiral. I shall return to the castle and await your report." She rose from her chair and left, Bit Lockhart close behind.

Once he was certain she was gone, Haldorsen nodded to the operator at the console to bring up the pictures again. He had his duty.

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It took three days for the funerals.

The first day was for the crew of the aircraft, all long term veterans of service to the Crown. And the members of Elsa's staff that had accompanied her to Brussels.

The second day was for the Queen's Own, including Revel Handler, who all died guarding their Queen. Bit Lockhart was a stoic man, but Revel was an old friend, not just his boss. Now he had a new boss, Colonel Georg Hvammer, Revel's long time second in command. Hvammer immediately assigned more Queen's Own to Anna's detail, and made Bit their commander.

They had found Revel strapped into his seat, right next to the Queen. Most of Revel, at least. Same for the Queen. The crash had been catastrophic, the bodies broken and mutilated. No one could have survived.

The dive team had managed to find most of the pieces, the mortuary team had grouped them and identified everyone on the plane. There was no doubt about identification, but there would be sealed caskets for the funerals.

Bit shuddered as he remembered having to physically restrain Anna from going into the morgue. She kicked and screamed at him, but he wouldn't let her see her sister in death. "NO, Anna! You CAN'T! Dear lord, you won't be able to unsee that, you will never be able to remember her smiling and laughing." He picked her up, ignoring the fists pounding on his chest and the kicks to his legs. "You have to listen to me. I've made this mistake myself in my life, I won't let you do this!"

And so he carried her away, and took her to her room, and left her in Gerda's care. Kristoff was hovering outside the door when Bit came into the hallway. He and Anna had become good friends over the years they flew together. Bit thought there was more than just friendship stirring between them recently. Bit hoped so, Anna would need someone closer than a friend as she settled into being Queen.

_"Not to mention heirs. There's no one right now,"_ Bit thought grimly.

"How is she?" Kristoff asked, voice husky. He had admired Elsa and saw more of her than the average Arendelle citizen. Her death was that of a real person to him, not some ceremonial mannequin on a dais. Not to mention his pain for Anna's sake.

"Not good, Kristoff. I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep her away from the morgue. She'll be pissed at me for a long time for that."

"It's the right thing to do, though, Bit. Eventually she'll realize that."

"I hope so." Bit sighed, shook his head, then said, "I need to go finish up the funeral arrangements for the day after tomorrow. Anna wants you as an official pallbearer, so if you don't have a full mess dress uniform, go get one. The tailor shop knows you're coming and you have an open account. Later."

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It had been 11 years since the last state funeral for a reigning monarch. Not long enough, as far as Anna was concerned. After her parents died, Anna had hoped that Elsa would live to be 100. And have lots of kids, so Anna could live her carefree life in the military. So much for that plan.

Since Elsa had been a player in international politics, there were many heads of state that had come to pay their respects. Including some Anna would just as soon have dumped in the fjord with rocks in their pockets, like Hans of the Southern Isles and Yuri Imanovajov. The only person in the Muscovian delegation that Anna didn't sneer at was Captain Aleksei Vasilek, Imanovajov's nephew. _"No, COLONEL Vasilek, now. Promotion comes fast for favorite nephews of murderous despots,"_ Anna's sour thought was unfair to the Colonel. She had saved his life during her Central African adventure, he really was a good guy. _"And not a bad dancer."_

Although there would be no dancing at this gathering.

Neema Sefu was there, of course, her small country had become stable and prosperous with the help of Arendelle and Arendelle's royals. Anna made sure that Neema had a place of honor, a much better place than Hans and Imanutjob. THEM she stuck in the last row of mourners, and would have left them on park benches in the city center if she had been able to convince her advisors to let her.

The US contingent included Colonel M.C. Fitzwilliam. Anna had asked Fitz if she was willing to be a pallbearer. Anna asked, rather than just telling Fitz, because Anna knew there was a long felt unrequited love that Fitz had for Elsa. If the thought of being a pallbearer, or even attending the funeral was too painful, she wanted Fitz to have an out.

"I would be honored, Your Majesty," Fitz had murmured. She was as unreadable as Bit, but Anna knew her feelings were deep and troubled.

And so Elsa was borne to her final rest by 8 specially chosen people, and another dozen honorary pallbearers following the caisson.

The citizens of Arendelle lined the road to the royal graveyard, holding candles or throwing crocus petals in front of the horse-drawn caisson. The mahogony and teak casket was large, draped with the flag of Arendelle and a huge bouquet of gold, purple and white crocus flowers.

At last the prayers and invocations were finished and Elsa's casket waited to be lowered into the ground next to her parents. The bishop said a final "Amen", then led the crowd of mourners away, leaving only a few behind. Anna and Kristoff. Bit and Fitz, Gerda and the rest of Elsa's personal staff.

Anna stared at the coffin and let the tears flow. She had held them back until now because she was the Queen, and had to set an example. She had finally given up on seeing Elsa, but had insisted that they put something of hers in with Elsa to take with her. It was a picture of the two of them from the aftermath of Anna's first parachute jump. Anna had landed in a pond, and was a muddy mess, and because she had picked her sister up in a bear hug, so was Elsa. They had huge grins on their faces as they faced Revel's phone camera, arms around each other, together again after a long separation.

_"I'll never be the Queen you were, Elsa. Never. But I'll do my best to make you proud of me. I know you're with mama and papa, so at least there's that. Hug them for me."_ Anna leaned over and kissed the polished wood of the coffin.

She turned away and looked at her family and friends. "Okay. It's done. I've got the duty now. Long live the Queen." There was a bitter taste to her words. She was sure that bitter taste would linger. For now, she had her duty to perform.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: grrlgeek72 here. So jedijae and I were kicking around plot bunnies and this particular bunny hopped out of the pile and so jae said, "write it!" and so I did.
> 
> And then it turned out that the plot bunny had plot bunnies, and this is just the first chapter of what apparently is going to be a longer multi-chapter fic in an au of the "Pin My Wings" universe. We're posting this first chapter in "Service Log of A Arendelle", and will post the rest of the story on my fanfiction dot net account.
> 
> An alternate universe to an alternate universe. In the REAL "Pin My Wings" universe, Elsa is alive and well and thumping her head on her desk at the antics of her feisty little sister and jae has many good plot ideas that don't involve the tears of her readers.
> 
> Ain't fanfiction grand?


	8. Come Fly Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is first part of a two-shot for Elsa's birthday/Christmas. Originally written for the Frozen Light and Love Challenge on Tumblr.
> 
> Anna preps for a checkride in a VIP aircraft
> 
> by geekogecko

Shivering in the December chill, Anna hurried up to the small rear door labeled “Hangar Personnel Only.” She yanked the door open and grinned as she stepped through. The warm air inside swirled with familiar smells. The acrid scent of axle grease, the slight sweetness of hydraulic fluids, both overlaid with the sharp tang of JP-5 fuel. The smells of her life.

Well, minus the odor of cordite from spent ammo and the hints of decaying vegetation. This hangar floor was sparkling clean concrete instead of packed dirt. But there was definitely aviation going on here. It had only been a couple of weeks; she couldn’t believe how much she already missed it.

An Arendelle Marine sergeant stepped out of shadows next to the door. “Can I help you, ma’am?”

“I’m here for a check ride with Gus,” Anna told him. 

The sergeant shot a glance at Bit Lockhart, whose enormous frame had just darkened the door. “I’m with her,” Bit said. “Just another terrified passenger.”

“Screw you,” Anna said with a smile.

“Please wait here, ma’am, sir,” the sergeant said, unamused. He pointed at a four-by-four foot red square painted on the floor next to the door.

Anna stepped into the square and dropped her gear bag. “Here? Right here?” she asked, pointing at the floor. The sergeant nodded. Unable to resist the urge to mess with him, Anna slid one booted foot out of the square. “But not here?”

The sergeant’s mouth tightened, but he didn’t say anything. Bit stepped into the square with Anna and said, “Ignore her, Sergeant, her brain and her mouth operate on separate frequencies.”

Anna elbowed him in the ribs. “I can hear you, you know.”

The sergeant shook his head, then trotted over to three men gathered around a disassembled turboshaft engine. Anna saw a gutted Cormorant against the far wall. Her stomach churned a little at the sight of mechanics swarming over it, but at least it was torn apart for overhaul, not because of an unfortunate encounter with, say, an RPG. 

The Marine sergeant saluted one of the men. The man separated from the group and strode towards Anna. Gray-haired, gray-eyed, craggy-featured, and straight-backed, he looked every inch the brigadier the embroidered star on each of his flight suit shoulders indicated.

Anna snapped to attention and saluted. “Sir!”

He returned the salute with a casual wave in the vicinity of his forehead. “What can I do for you, Lieutenant?” 

“I’m looking for Gus, sir. I’m supposed to get a check ride.”

“Brigadier Gustav Hagen to you, Lieutenant.”

_Oh shit!_

“Sir! Yes sir!” Anna saluted again because she didn’t have a clue what else to do. If he was giving her the check ride, she was fucked. And she hadn’t even gotten close to the helicopter yet.

Hagen looked her up and down with a critical eye. “Prep that bird over there,” he ordered, pointing to an old Bell Huey.

“Yessir!” Anna snapped off another salute, but Hagen had already headed back toward the Cormorant. She whirled on Lockhart. “ _Gus??_ ” she hissed.

Bit shook with barely-concealed laughter. “Hey, that’s the name Revel gave me.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“Guilty.”

“Just for that, you can stay in the red time-out square while I try to recover from this flame-out in the making.” Anna grabbed her gear bag and trotted toward the bird Hagen had indicated.

“Try not to blow anything up,” Bit called after her. 

Every head in the hangar turned their way. Anna flipped him off without breaking stride and tossed her gear bag onto the pilot’s seat. She knew Bit was just trying to keep her loose, but she couldn’t help but wonder if he was attempting to sabotage her a little. He and Revel both had been extremely unhappy with this idea.

_I don’t care what they think. I’m only about two steps ahead of being grounded anyway, and I need to do this before it catches up with me._

Once she looked over the old Bell Huey, Anna cheered up a bit. It was the cleanest bird she’d ever seen, parked on a floor so shiny she could see its reflection in the sealant. _I bet they don’t even come out of the factory this clean. And it’s probably older than I am._

And it was one she knew intimately. The first bird she’d ever piloted, the one she’d trained in, landed hard in (on more than one occasion), the one she’d flown her first real-world SAR mission in. She grinned and patted the fuselage fondly.

She grabbed the kneeboard and started her pre-flight. She didn’t need the checklist – she’d long since memorized it, because shining a flashlight on a white piece of paper at night in a combat zone could be hazardous to one’s health. But she was already starting in a hole with Brigadier Hagen. Better to do everything by the book.

Wheel pressure looked good. No fluid seepage from around the brakes. She pulled the fuel tester from inside the pilot’s door and poked its probe into the starboard fuel tank. Condensation always caused a little water to collect in the tanks, not that she expected to find enough in this spotless machine to even show up in the tester.

She stared at the clear liquid in the cylinder, then took a cautious sniff. Water. Not even a hint of the distinctive kerosene odor of JP. She fetched a safety bucket and emptied the tester, then stuck it back in the tank. Another hundred milliliters of water.

_So that’s how it’s gonna be_. Aware of the eyes on her, Anna kept her face neutral and kept emptying and refilling the tester. One hundred milliliters at a time, until she had over a liter of water in her bucket and finally struck fuel.

She took a deep breath and kept going through the checklist as if nothing had happened. Water in the fuel was newbie stuff, but it made her wonder if she was being deliberately set up to fail. Well, nothing to do but keep at it. When she finished the pre-flight, she was sweating and had documented a dozen failures.

Hagen materialized next to her. “Well?” he barked.

Anna barely kept herself from saluting again. “Twelve failures, sir.”

“Twelve? There were only ten.”

Anna listed them all in one breath, from the water in the fuel tank to the loose bracket on the mount for the cabin’s first aid kit.

Hagen’s face twisted. “Jakobsen!” he roared. One of the mechanics came running. “List those again, Lieutenant.”

Anna ran through the list again. Jakobsen, a technical sergeant at least ten years older than her, stopped her when she got to the cut in the tail rotor hydraulic line.

“A cut in the line? Are you sure?” Jakobsen’s voice dripped with condescension. His body language clearly indicated that he thought she was an idiot.

Anna clamped down on her temper and waved at the engine cowling, which she had left open. “I’m guessing it’s a tool slip,” she said as he examined the line. Then her mouth ran away from her. “It’s probably not a bullet, considering this bird has never even seen a combat zone, much less actually been shot at.”

Jakobsen scowled at her, but said nothing. It was a serious cut, probably caused by a mechanic in a hurry, and she was sure some young airman would be getting reamed out before too long. Anna continued through her list. When she got to the loose clamp on the hub spring, the brigadier flinched and the mechanic went white.

_Obviously that wasn’t part of the setup_ , Anna thought as Hagen climbed up with Jakobsen to examine the spring. The hub spring was critical to preventing mast bump, which always, _always_ resulted in a fatal crash. She’d witnessed more than one, and had no desire to be at the stick when it happened.

Hagen let out an impressive stream of profanities. Jakobsen saluted and scarpered away to get his tools. Anna took mental notes. There was always something to be learned from generals.

Anna stiffened to attention when Hagen turned his glare back on her. He studied her face for several long moments. Sweat slid down between her shoulder blades and she wondered if she had just completely crashed and burned.

Finally he said, “Well, Lieutenant, it appears you are exactly as advertised.”

Anna shot a glance at his face and saw a ghost of a smile. “How is that, sir?”

“Everything report I’ve gotten on you says that you’re an exceptional pilot. And a five-star wise-ass.”

Anna opened her mouth to retort, then decided it would be better not to dig her hole any deeper.

Another long moment passed as Hagen waited to see if she would confirm his assessment of her. Then he gave her a real smile and said, “Good job with the pre-flight. Let’s do your check ride in something a little more fun.”

Anna broke into a wide grin as he pointed to the sleek Airbus Dauphin parked in the middle of the hangar. Its purple-over-green paint job gleamed and the gold crocus on its tail boom sparkled under the hangar’s fluorescent lights.

_That’s what I’m talkin’ about!_

\------------------

Elsa looked up from her tablet and asked, “How long do you think it will be before the UN sends us a formal request for observers?”

Minister Stenhammer gave a cough and said, “My understanding is that it is already in the works, Your Majesty.”

_Of course it is._

“Though given the normal pace of the bureaucracy and the holiday season, it will likely be several weeks. At the soonest,” Stenhammer went on.

Elsa suppressed a sigh and quickly scanned through the rest of the document on her tablet. It was the Foreign Ministry’s latest assessment of Imanovajov’s rhetoric vis-à-vis the Muscovian minorities in Livonia. There were already American and Continental peacekeepers in Livonia. A request for neutral observers – meaning Swiss and/or Arendellan observers – was the next logical step.

“If such a request comes and I consider it, how much pushback am I going to get from the Nasjonsting?”

Eva Brekke, one of her closest aides and liaisons to Arendelle’s parliament, said, “Difficult to judge, Your Majesty. The ‘Arendelle First’ contingent is small but vocal. They’ve been able to influence some of the moderates, especially those like Councilor Eldegard.”

“You mean the ones who worry about ‘Princess Anna’s militaristic views’ and her ‘undue influence on foreign policy’?” Elsa said dryly.

Eva laughed. “Yes, ma’am.”

There was a rap at her office door, and Aggie stepped inside. “Pardon the interruption, Your Majesty, but your helicopter is on its way.”

“Thank you, Aggie.” Elsa closed the cover on her tablet. “I’ll send you any questions I have about the briefs, Minister.”

“Of course, Your Majesty. With your permission?” At Elsa’s nod, Stenhammer and Eva slipped out past Aggie.

Elsa slid her tablet into her purse. It would be a rare flight by herself, with no straphangers, no one trying to steal a few minutes of her time between meetings and engagements. She could read through the documents in snippets of relative peace.

Revel appeared to escort her to the helipad. “Happy Birthday,” he said as they left the office. 

She murmured her thanks and gave him a small smile. It _was_ her birthday, her actual birthday. As opposed to her Official Birthday, which was traditionally celebrated in the summer. Instead of parades, fireworks, and galas with Continental royalty, she would celebrate privately with her family.

Well, at least she would if what was left of her family was home for her birthday.

“I still can’t believe you’re working. Most people would play hooky,” Revel continued.

Elsa gave a little half-shrug. She knew Gerda probably had something planned, a special dinner with her and Kai and Revel and the very few others close to her, but it just wouldn’t be the same without Anna. She had allowed Aggie to schedule a few Yule engagements for the day to try and help distract her, but now all it did was remind her that she would be alone for the Ringing of the Yule Bell, the midnight service in Arendelle Chapel, and all of the other official Yule events that the Royal family participated in.

A sudden wave of melancholy swept over her. She hadn’t heard from Anna at all for more than two weeks. Gaps in communication weren’t unusual, but she rarely went longer than a few days without at least an email or text from her sister. They were usually just short notes to say ‘hi’ or to share a pic of her and her comrades, or the children around the base, or even just a flower she found exotic.

Sometimes Anna even sent actual handwritten letters. Elsa kept all of those tucked away in a special box and re-read them after hard days when she missed Anna more fiercely than usual. _God, I hope she’s all right!_

“Elsa? Are you okay?” Revel’s worried voice broke into her thoughts.

“Hmm? Oh, I’m sorry.” She waved away a small snow flurry. “It’s just that I haven’t heard from Anna in a while. I’m a little worried.”

Revel gave her a look she couldn’t quite read. “I’m sure she’s fine. Probably just busy. Bit says she has a lot on her plate, between flying and helping advise Neema.”

_Too busy to even shoot me a text to say Happy Birthday? And why does Revel know more about what she’s doing than I do?_

She tried to push away her self-pity. She’d brought this on herself, after all. If she had been a better sister, if she had actually been there for Anna after their parents’ death instead of holing up in her room and burying her grief in work and snowstorms, then maybe they would be closer. Rather than provide love and support and guidance, she had left a fifteen-year-old girl to flounder in her own pain. Now the girl was a woman finding her own way, on a path that seemed to lead further and further away from Elsa with every passing day.

And given Anna’s ‘act first, think later’ approach to life, it was a path that could easily get her killed.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. The helipad was located at the southwest corner of the Castle islet, and the fastest way to reach it was to cut through the private gardens. The day was sunny but cold, and several inches of snow covered the castle and its grounds. Elsa breathed deeply. The chilly air carried crisp hints of pine and frost, underlaid by the salty brine of the fjord. It both energized her and helped sooth her restless magic.

Her helicopter was making its approach when they arrived at the pad. It swooped in, going from full speed to full stop in a matter of seconds. Elsa frowned as the pilot cut the engine and the blades slowed to a halt. Usually she just waited for a signal that it was safe to approach and they would take off as soon as she was onboard.

Her eyes widened as the cabin door opened and Bit Lockhart jumped out. 

He dropped to his knees and kissed the ground. “Praise the Lord, we have cheated death again!”

The pilot’s door swung open and a familiar voice yelled at him to perform an anatomically impossible act.

Elsa whipped around to see the pilot, who was wearing jeans, a flight jacket, and aviator sunglasses, leap from the cockpit.

Then she found herself wrapped in a breath-stealing hug. “Happy Birthday,” Anna whispered in her ear.

\-------------------------------------------


	9. Come Fly Away pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna takes Elsa on a surprise trip
> 
> by Geekogecko

Elsa had never really thought too much about what her pilots actually did before. She knew them, of course. She tried to know something about all the people on her staff. Their given names, their backgrounds, the names of their spouses and children, if they had them. She appreciated her pilots, appreciated their skills, but until now, sitting in the co-pilot’s seat and watching Anna run through the complex startup procedures, she realized that she had never given a lot of thought to what they actually _did_.

She jumped a little when a clipped female voice came through her headset: “RAAF Ground, Puffin One, VFR departure from the Castle at or below 2000 feet, Snow Queen onboard.”

If she hadn’t _known_ it was Anna, she never would have guessed.

“Puffin One, RAAF Ground, departure from the Castle approved, TFR in effect, cleared for takeoff. Have a nice flight.”

They lifted smoothly from the helipad, banking out over the fjord away from the Castle before turning north toward the mountains. As they crossed over the shoreline, Anna’s voice came through her headset again, telling the tower to close out her current flight plan and open one for Grontfjell.

Elsa frowned; Grontfjell was beyond the North Mountain. “Anna, I’m scheduled to go to Gjoheim.”

Anna grinned at her. “No you’re not. I got Aggie to put some bogus stuff on your calendar so you wouldn’t get stuck in meetings. You don’t have anything scheduled for today except me.”

_But those have been on my calendar for –_ Suddenly suspicious, Elsa asked, “How long have you been back in Arendelle?”

“Um…about a week?”

“A _week_? And you couldn’t contact me? I haven’t heard from you in over two weeks, Anna, I was starting to get worried!”

Anna didn’t reply. She just reached out and flipped on the cockpit heater. Elsa bit back a curse. Silence stretched between them as Anna concentrated on flying and Elsa mentally berated herself for hurting her. Again. 

She hadn’t seen her sister in months, and the first thing she did was jump on her case for a minor lapse. No wonder Anna stayed gone most of the time.

After a while, Anna said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. I just wanted to surprise you on your birthday.”

Elsa’s heart ached at her forlorn tone. She reached over and touched Anna’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. I didn’t expect to see you for another couple of months, but you managed to get a leave after all?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“I’m so happy you’re here.” Elsa squeezed her shoulder. “Best birthday present ever!”

Anna looked at her for a second, her expressive eyes hidden behind her sunglasses. Then she flashed an impish smile. “Well, it took some work, but it was more than worth it.”

“Revel must be having a fit,” Elsa said, remembering her bodyguard’s unhappy expression as he helped strap her into the co-pilot’s seat. “How in the world did you get him to agree to this?”

Anna’s grin grew wider. “I just told him that it was happening one way or another. He had a choice - I could get checked out in a Puffin, with all of its advanced communication and safety features, or I could go to Oaken’s Rent-a-Bird and get an old R-22 with a walkie-talkie and a questionable maintenance history. It’s not like he could have me shot down for flying into the Castle’s restricted airspace.”

Elsa gaped at her for a second, then burst out laughing as she pictured that particular battle of wills. Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh Anna,” she gasped between snorts, “you never cease to amaze me.”

“Well, I am pretty amazing, if I do say so myself.”

That mischievous smile again. The smile of a pig-tailed little girl who yelled “FREEZE MY BUTT!” in the middle of Market Square and denied stealing cookies from the kitchens while her face was still covered in chocolate.

Oh, how Elsa had missed it!

They passed over the edge of the city and into Arendelle’s mountainous countryside. Elsa drank in the scenery. While she often flew from place to place in the course of her duties, she rarely got to appreciate the views; she was always surrounded by people and buried in papers. 

The majestic peaks, the snow-covered forests, the mirror-like lakes – she had almost forgotten how beautiful her land was. Especially in the winter.

_I spend too much time in the Castle. I need to get out here more often._

She looked over at Anna. Even with the sunglasses, she could see the contentment – no, the _joy_ – on her sister’s face.

_She really loves this. She really loves this dangerous job that takes her so far away from me._

The next thoughts came before she could stop them: _You were so caught up in yourself that you could barely bother to make time for her. If you hadn’t pushed her away, she wouldn’t have joined the Army in the first place._

Then she wouldn’t be flying helicopters and jumping out of airplanes and getting shot at in the jungle, and all the other terrifying God-knows-what that Anna apparently got into but would never talk about. Things that Elsa could only guess at, revealed by brief glimpses of scars on Anna’s body or the incoherent mumblings of her nightmares. All of which her sister would wave off with a quick smile and change of subject.

“Elsa?” Anna’s breath was visible in the cockpit. 

“Sorry.” Elsa took a few deep breaths to settle herself. “What’s it like?” she asked before Anna could say anything else. “Flying, I mean?”

“Hmmm…” Anna considered the question for a moment, then said, “I would say…it’s the most fun you can have with your clothes on.”

“ _Anna!_ ” Elsa went to clap her hands over her ears and winced as she hit her earphones. “I did not need to hear that from my baby sister.”

Anna’s delighted laughter echoed through the headset. Before Elsa could retort, she found herself looking straight down, her harness digging into her shoulders as the helicopter went into a steep dive. Her terrified squeal was drowned out by Anna’s elated whoop as they leveled out just above the treetops. 

Anna kept the helicopter low, rising and falling with each undulation in the terrain. Elsa relaxed and began to enjoy the amusement-park quality to Anna’s flying. It was so much more fun than her normal trips. Her regular pilots would never dare fly like this with her in the aircraft. 

_Maybe I should ask them to_. She giggled at the thought of taking a few of the Nasjonsting’s pompous councilors on an airborne roller coaster ride through the mountains. _That could be a useful negotiation tactic._

She let out a delighted laugh as Anna banked hard, standing the helicopter on its side. They dipped down into a valley, flashing over an isolated farm surrounded by a herd of reindeer. 

“Seriously, though,” Anna said, picking up where she’d left off, “it’s…intellectual, in a way, but it’s also about balance - you, the bird, the winds, the radio, even the crew, everything just sort of merges together. You’re thinking, but also kind of feeling your way, constantly adjusting from moment to moment.”

“Sounds very…right-brain,” Elsa said.

“It is!” Anna said. “Put your hands on your controls and I’ll show you.”

“What? Anna, no, I can’t – ”

“Just so you can feel it, silly, I’ll still be doing the flying.”

Anna explained what each of the controls did. Elsa put her hands and feet where Anna instructed. _Oh my God…_ She kept her touch as light as she could.

Even though the helicopter stayed straight and level, Elsa still felt the subtle movements of the stick and the pedals. Anna made the whole thing seem effortless, adjusting for whatever input she was receiving while still carrying on their conversation.

“ - and when you touch down, and you know that your skill just helped save someone’s life…well, I’m not sure anything could be more satisfying.”

Elsa let go of the controls, now completely content just to listen to her talk. She so rarely got to hear about what it was Anna actually did. Seeing the pleasure that flying gave Anna, and the obvious gratification she got from her work and her service, made Elsa’s heart want to soar and sink at the same time. She was so happy that Anna was happy, but that happiness came at the cost of constant danger and separation from her family.

“…and maybe I can teach you someday. How to fly, I mean.”

_Me? Flying?_ “…I’d like that,” Elsa said, meaning it. “But I would probably have to get a new chief of security, because Revel would have a stroke.”

“He’s probably having one right now,” Anna laughed. “Hope you have a shortlist of replacements.”

They crested a ridge, then dropped low over a frozen lake. A group of ice harvesters guided thick blocks of freshly cut ice along a channel toward the shore. They looked up as Puffin One passed overhead. Traditional ice harvesting was more for tourism now than anything else, but there was still a small niche market for lake-harvested ice, for people who were willing to pay a premium for it.

Anna circled over the men. One of them pointed, having apparently spotted the gold crocus on the fuselage, and they all started waving their arms wildly. Anna banked so that the harvesters could see Elsa clearly. Elsa gave them a little wave, giggling at their obvious enthusiasm.

One more circle and then they left the lake. They passed just west of the North Mountain, and Elsa heard Anna talking to the Grontfjell control tower. To her surprise, though, they bypassed the airfield, instead swooping down over a small plateau just outside of town. There was nothing there but a single structure and a windsock. 

“Anna, what are we doing?”

“You’ll see.”

At the moment, Elsa couldn’t see much of anything; Anna was bringing the helicopter down next to the structure, kicking up a whirlwind of snow.

“Um, I’m not exactly dressed for…whatever it is that you have in mind for the middle of nowhere?” Elsa gestured at her business suit and pumps.

“Oh no worries, I took care of you!” Anna jerked a thumb back toward the cabin before unbuckling her harness and jumping out of the cockpit.

Elsa sighed as Anna disappeared into the still-swirling snow, then clambered into the cabin. There was a duffel strapped into one of the seats, where she found jeans, a sweater, and a pair of winter boots. 

_Looks like Gerda was in on this too_. She changed and stepped outside, only to be greeted by the smell of wet fur. She found herself eye-to-eye with a huge bull reindeer. A warm slobbery tongue lapped up the side of her face.

“Ewww!”

The reindeer hopped around her happily, panting like an overgrown hound.

“Sven, no!” A big blond man in Sami clothing dragged the reindeer away before it could lick her again. “I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”

Elsa blinked for a second before recognizing Anna’s co-pilot. “Kristoff? What are you doing here?” She wiped her face on her sleeve. “And didn’t I tell you to call me Elsa?”

“Yes, Your – um, Elsa. My family lives in Grontfjell. I’m visiting them for Yule.”

“Oh. That’s nice.”

“C’mon, Kristoff!” Anna shouted.

Kristoff mumbled another apology and led Sven over to the harness and rope that Anna had hooked to the front of Puffin One. They dragged the helicopter into the building, which Elsa could now see was some sort of temporary hangar.

“Elsa, where’s your coat?” Anna had added mittens, a scarf, and a wool beanie to her outfit.

“You know I don’t need a coat.”

Anna huffed and retrieved a parka from Puffin One. “I know you don’t get cold, but wear it anyway.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want people staring at the crazy woman who doesn’t wear a coat when it’s below freezing outside.”

Elsa shrugged into the parka and tried not to roll her eyes. “What exactly are we doing that I would be stared at?”

“We’re going shopping!”

“Wait, what?”

“When’s the last time we went shopping together? When I was ten, maybe?” Anna forced a scarf, gloves, and a knit hat on her as well. “In fact, when’s the last time you went shopping at all? I mean, really shopping, not sending Aggie or Gerda to get something, or ordering off Amazon. You know, looking in store windows and trying on clothes and actually getting to touch stuff?”

Elsa opened her mouth, then snapped it closed. She and Anna had loved roaming through Market Square when they were little, gawking at the clothes and toys and traditional crafts, and overindulging in sweet treats. But they hadn’t gone to Market Square together since the accident.

“So come on!” Anna grabbed her by the arm and dragged her toward Kristoff’s waiting sled.

\-----------------------------

Kristoff dropped them off at the edge of Grontfjell and they spent several glorious hours drifting from shop to shop, trying on clothes, eating from food stands, and buying gifts for their friends and family. Grontfjell was a small town, but drew a large number of tourists to its quaint shopping district. It had once been a Sami trading center, and people still came to experience the Sami culture, buy their traditional crafts and handmade clothing, and to wonder at the Northern lights.

Despite the number of people on the streets, they were able to roam in complete anonymity, helped along by the winter clothing that obscured their hair and faces. Tourists hoping for a glimpse of the Queen or the Crown Princess usually went to Arendelle City to tour the Castle or the Nasjonsting. No one was looking for them in Grontfjell.

Well, no one but Revel. Elsa’s phone had lit up with angry texts as soon as she came into range of a cell tower, all from Revel demanding to know where she was and what she was doing. Apparently Anna hadn’t shared all of her plans with him. Or Bit, if Anna’s side of their phone conversation was anything to judge by.

Elsa couldn’t help but feel a little thrill at sneaking away from her ever-present security, at being able to wander freely, to be among people without being the Queen. No wonder Anna was constantly ditching her bodyguards. Bit was better than most, but Anna’s determination and expansive imaginative were too much for even him sometimes.

Now they sat in the back corner of a café just off the main street, munching on sandwiches and sipping hot chocolate. Shopping bags of every shape and size surrounded them. Elsa had wondered how they were going to manage them all, but Anna just shrugged and looped her arms through as many handles as would fit, rolling her eyes at Elsa’s quip about her freakish strength.

Elsa smiled over the rim of her mug as Anna talked non-stop, rambling from one subject to another and commenting on anything that caught her attention. Her hands were as animated as her voice, and Elsa had to duck several times to avoid being smacked by a wayward gesture.

“ – and I kept piling the bags on ‘cause I didn’t know they burned that hot, and all of sudden the whole thing went _whoosh!_ ” – Elsa dodged again as Anna’s hands flew up – “and then we smelled something weird and it turned out we were right under some power lines and they started to melt – “

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah!” Anna said. “And just any power lines, they were part of the main trunk and – “

“Wait, wait,” Elsa interrupted, “it was you? _You_ were the one who took down power to half of the city??”

Anna blushed. “Well, it wasn’t just me, Fitzherbert was there too, and he was in charge, so technically it was his fault.”

“Oh my God, Anna!” Elsa shook with laughter. “I was told there was a problem with the main trunk, but no one told me what caused it!”

“Yeah, that was one of my more spectacular screw-ups,” Anna admitted. “Thank goodness the Army is long on forgiveness for idiot second lieutenants.”

Elsa swiped at her eyes, then put her hand on top of Anna’s. “Oh, Anna, thank you so much for this day. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.”

Anna turned her hand to thread their fingers together. “Well, it’s a little tame compared to some of my birthdays, but I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Tame is perfectly fine with me, we don’t need any more attention from the paparazzi. Besides, I doubt we could top your twenty-first. It’s still a tabloid legend.”

Anna reddened even more, but grinned and said, “Consider it another gift. I’m keeping their attention off of you.”

“Well, I’m not nearly as much fun as you are.” Elsa squeezed Anna’s hand. “This really was the best birthday present ever.”

Anna squeezed her hand back, and Elsa tried not to wince at her grip. Then Anna waved for the check. “As much as I hate to say it, we need to go. I really don’t want to try to fly out of here after it gets dark.”

The waitress brought the check, and after a small scramble, Anna held it and waved it triumphantly. “No, no, no, your birthday, my treat.”

“Anna, you do know all of our money comes from the same place, right?”

“Yes, but it’s the principle of the thing.” Anna’s eyes widened as she looked at the check. “Uh-oh, we’ve been busted.”

She showed Elsa the slip of paper. Scrawled at the bottom were the words “Your Majesty, Your Highness, it was an honor to serve you. Thank you, Ingrid.”

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Anna said. “It was only a matter of time. I mean, your face _is_ on all the money.”

Elsa’s eyes searched the café to see if anyone else had recognized them. All the other customers seemed intent on their own meals or were wrapped up in their own conversations. She spotted their waitress, a slight young woman with thin black hair, watching them from near the kitchen door. The girl saw her looking and turned beet-red. She started to turn away, but Anna signaled her to come to the table.

“How long have you known?” Anna asked her.

“Since you came in, Your – I mean, ma’am. But I didn’t want to say anything. You seemed like you wanted a quiet meal.”

The girl looked scared, so Elsa said gently, “We did. Thank you for your discretion, Ingrid.”

Ingrid beamed. “You’re welcome, Your – ma’am.”

Elsa moved her hands under the table and as discreetly as she could, she used her magic to create a small medal emblazoned with her signature snowflake. She wrapped it in a bit of tissue paper and held it out to Ingrid. “A token of my appreciation.”

Ingrid’s mouth dropped open a little and she started to curtsey before catching herself. “Thank you, Your – ma’am.”

Anna paid the bill, then she texted Kristoff. They slipped out of the café and lugged their shopping bags out to the edge of town to meet him. Once they had loaded everything in his sled, they climbed into the back to snuggle under a blanket that only smelled a little bit like reindeer.

Anna wrapped her arms around Elsa as they headed back to their makeshift airfield. “Happy Birthday again, big sister.”

Elsa kissed her hair. “Best birthday ever. I think we should make this a new tradition.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to Olofa for allowing the cameo by her OC, Ingrid Andersen
> 
> In addition to being an excuse to write fluffy Snow Sisters, this two-shot also serves as a transition to a longer story in this 'verse, another international adventure for Anna and Elsa


	10. Recipe for Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna and Elsa participate in a celebrity cook-a-thon for charity. But neither of them really knows how to cook…

“Relax, Elsa,” Anna said, giving her sister a reassuring pat on the back. “This is gonna be fun!”

“Fun?!” Elsa said incredulously. “We’re getting ready to give a cooking demonstration on live TV!”

“Gerda told us what to do,” Anna reminded her.

“Yes, but Gerda knows how to cook. We don’t!” Elsa wrung her hands and paced.

“Speak for yourself,” Anna said. “I can cook.”

“Microwaving ramen noodles doesn’t count as cooking.”

“I do more than that.”

“Heating up MREs on the engine of your Humvee doesn’t count, either.”

Anna stuck out her tongue. “Lighten up, sis, it’s for a good cause. We’re raising money for CARE.”

“I know, but I can think of better ways for us to spend what little leave time you get.”

Revel and Bit walked over to them. “Hey, they’re about ready for you two in there,” Revel said. He gestured towards the television studio where the live Continental Celebrity Cook-a-Thon and Pledge Drive was taking place.

Kristoff bounded up to them, grinning. "Hans Westergard just made a soufflé that came out looking like a manhole cover," he told them.

Elsa groaned. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this…”

Anna laughed and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the studio. "Come on, Elsa. Let’s go show Westergard how it’s done," she said.

"Oh, I wish Gerda was here," Elsa fretted. "She knows how to do this kind of thing.”

“Well, just in case you forgot, this is a _celebrity_ cook-a-thon, and Gerda isn’t a celebrity.”

“Much to her relief, I’m sure,” Elsa muttered.

“Besides, you know she’ll be watching back at the castle, cheering us on!”

"Or laughing her ass off," Kristoff said. He clasped his hands in front of his groin at Elsa’s poisonous look.

A man wearing headphones and carrying a tablet hurried up to them. "Your Majesty, Your Highness, you're up next. If you'll just follow me, please."

He led them into the cavernous studio, where two full kitchens were set up for the cook-a-thon. They spotted Hans Westergard glaring at his deflated soufflé as if it had wronged him personally. Several stagehands bustled around him, cleaning up the huge mess he'd made of the kitchen he'd used.

“Ha! Suck it, Westergard,” Anna said when they passed him. He looked up and scowled when he saw who it was. He took a threatening step toward them but stopped short at the sight of the blue magic swirling over Elsa’s palm.

“Bitch,” he muttered as he turned away.

Elsa just raised an eyebrow, then flicked her fingers. Hans slipped on the ice that suddenly appeared under his feet. The soufflé flew into the air as his arms gyrated wildly and he went ass-over-teakettle onto the floor, then it landed squarely on the top of his head. The studio audience roared with laughter.

“Oops,” Elsa said. She gave him a little finger wave as she walked away. 

Hans swore and shook off the stagehands’ attempts to help him up.

Anna flashed him a triumphant grin as she followed her sister. “Gonna kick your butt, Hans.”

Behind the kitchen sets, they could see a bank of ringing phone staffed by cheerful volunteers from all over the Continent. An on-air hostess stood in front of a camera, extolling the virtues of CARE and talking about their work in disaster relief, education, and economic development.

“And remember,” she finished, “for a pledge of fifty or more, you will receive this wonderful book featuring all of the recipes demonstrated during the Celebrity Cook-a-Thon.” She held up a thick hard-bound cookbook.

As Anna and Elsa approached the studio floor, the hostess spotted them and smiled brightly. "And now," she chirped, "We are proud to welcome Queen Elsa and Princess Anna of Arendelle!”

A cheer went up. Anna and Elsa waved to the audience. “We’re very pleased to be here,” Elsa said as she stepped into camera range. 

_Liar_. Anna stifled a snicker. Elsa side-eyed her.

“Your Majesty, Your Highness, what will you be preparing for us today?” the hostess asked.

Anna stepped up and said, “Today we’re going to be making _Dyrestek med Viltsau_ s, a traditional Arendellan dish featuring fresh flank of reindeer.” 

“What?!?!?” Kristoff’s offended voice carried in from off-camera. “You didn’t tell me – ” He was abruptly cut off as a giant snowball fell on his head.

“Elsa!” Anna protested with a giggle. Elsa just looked at her innocently.

“And Your Majesty, may I say that it’s such an honor to have you here in our studio!” the hostess gushed. “You’re even more beautiful in person than you are on TV!” She stepped closer to Elsa and lay a hand on her arm.

Anna rolled her eyes. 

Hovering just out of camera range, Kristoff said, “Now that’s Elsa’s _real_ superpower.”

“Think she stands a chance?” Revel asked, indicating the hostess.

“Nah,” Bit said. “Fitz would eat her for lunch.”

“I didn’t know Elsa and Fitz were a thing,” Kristoff said.

“They’re not,” Bit said, “but that doesn’t keep Fitz from trying to mark her territory.”

Anna guffawed and Elsa flushed cherry-red. The three men scattered as snowballs pelted them from above.

“So,” the hostess was saying, “are you ready to begin?”

“As ready as we’ll ever be, I imagine,” Elsa said.

"Your kitchen is right over there," the hostess told them, gesturing. "It's been stocked with everything you requested."

Elsa followed Anna over to "their" kitchen. The camera operator rolled the camera over to keep them in frame. For a moment, the two of them simply stood behind the counter staring at each other.

“So what do we do next?” Elsa whispered.

“Um…wash the reindeer?”

“Okay,” Elsa said. She went to the refrigerator. “The first step is to wash the reindeer meat.”

“And preheat the oven,” Anna added, turning the temperature dial on the oven.

“Yes, that too,” Elsa said. She rummaged around in the refrigerator and located the packaged reindeer meat while Anna pulled a large skillet out of one of the cabinets. They were so absorbed in the tasks before them that they forgot about the camera that was broadcasting everything they did and said live to all of the viewers on the Continent.

"Here we go." Elsa said, unwrapping the package of meat. She suddenly froze, looking down at the meat in disgust. "Oh gross."

"I could have sworn we asked for skinless reindeer," Anna said. She pulled a piece of meat out of the wrapper and began washing it in the sink.

"Ewwww," Elsa said. "You didn't wash your hands first."

"Well, neither did you!"

"I didn't actually touch any food yet.”

Anna shrugged. "It doesn’t matter, we’re gonna cook it anyway.” She put the washed meat on a plate. "That skin looks disgusting," she said conversationally.

"I agree," Elsa said, wrinkling her nose.

The two of them regarded the meat for a moment.

"Let's take it off," Anna suggested. She opened a drawer and rummaged around until she found a large pair of tongs. "Here," she said, brandishing the tongs. "You hold the meat, I'll pull the skin off."

"Eww, I don't want to touch it," Elsa complained.

“Oh, come on, Elsa!”

"I am your Queen," Elsa said. "And I am not touching it."

They scowled at each other. Then Elsa perked up and said, “Oh!” She quickly swirled her hands and conjured a long-handled fork made of ice.

"Good idea," Anna said. "You hold it down, I'll skin it."

Elsa stabbed a piece of meat with her fork. "Go ahead," she said.

Using the tongs, Anna grabbed the skin and tugged. With a wet ripping sound, it pulled away from the meat. Anna’s arm snapped back, flinging the skin across the studio and into the bank of volunteers taking pledges.

"Hey!" a voice yelled. "That's disgusting!"

"Sorry!" Anna yelled in reply, trying and failing not to giggle as they went to work skinning the next piece of meat. Meanwhile, the skin's unhappy recipient had decided to take action. The skin suddenly came flying back to the kitchen to hit Anna smack on the side of the head.

"Ewwwwww!" she yelled in disgust, pawing frantically at the side of her head.

Elsa’s hand flew to her mouth, but she could not contain her giggles, which quickly become full-fledged laughter. Finally managing to remove the slimy skin from the side of her head, Anna swung on her sister.

"You think that's funny?" she asked.

Unable to reply, Elsa simply nodded silently, laughing so hard that tears ran down her cheeks.

Anna brandished the skin between her thumb and forefinger. Then, moving too quickly for Elsa to stop her, she plopped the skin on top of Elsa’s head. Elsa shrieked.

"Now _that’s_ funny," Anna said, snorting with laughter as Elsa tried to remove the slimy piece of skin from her head without actually touching it. Finally, Elsa shook her head, flinging the skin against the studio wall, where it stuck, hanging there like a bizarre piece of modern art.

Kristoff, Revel, and Bit were leaning against the studio wall, bent double from laughter. Elsa gestured sharply, and a gust of wind peeled the skin from the wall. It sailed through the air, hitting Revel square in the face. He screamed and groped frantically at the skin. Kristoff slid all the way to the floor, where he lay shaking with laughter. Bit grabbed the skin from Revel’s face and flung it across the studio. It hit the on-air hostess in the back of the head. She squealed and ran from the studio.

Anna let out another laugh and wiped at her eyes. "Okay," she said, trying to get back to business. "Next, you fry the reindeer."

“I’ll get the pans ready,” Elsa said.

Anna poured oil into the skillet and ignited the gas burner. The oil began to sizzle and she used the tongs to drop several pieces of meat into the skillet. One of the pans Elsa was taking from the cupboard fell to the floor with a clatter. Anna bent over to retrieve it for her, the tail of her jacket brushing against the stove as she did so.

“So while Anna is cooking the meat, I’ll coat the pans with cooking spray,” Elsa told the camera. She started to spray one of the pans, then stopped to sniff the air. “What’s that burning smell?”

Anna whirled around, sniffing. “Something’s on fire.” Elsa gasped, then blasted her sister’s backside with ice.

Anna shrieked and jumped. “What the hell, Elsa?! What are you doing?”

“Putting out the fire, Hot Pants.”

“What?!” Anna turned in a futile effort to see her backside.

“Nice tattoo.”

“Oh shit,” Anna grabbed her backside with both hands.

“Language, Anna. This is a family program,” Elsa said, laughing. At Anna’s mortified look, she said, “I’m kidding! You just singed the tail of your jacket.”

“Urrrrgggghhh,” Anna moaned. “Stinker!”

“I’ll finish the meat,” Elsa said. “Why don’t you start the sauce?”

“Okay.” Anna looked at the camera. “For the game sauce, we need butter, flour, sour cream, currant jelly and goat cheese.” She retrieved a bowl from the cupboard and dumped some flour into it. The flour went everywhere, rising up in a cloud to coat her hair and face.

"Pfffffffffft!" Anna exhaled hard through her pursed lips, trying to blow some of the flour off her face. Elsa pointed at her and laughed helplessly. Anna opened her eyes and stuck her tongue out at her sister. She swiped her arm across her face, leaving a pasty streak of flour across her forehead.

Elsa began removing the pieces of meat from the skillet and placing them in the pans while Anna mixed the ingredients for the sauce. Elsa added some of the drippings from the skillet to the sauce bowl, then took the skillet full of hot oil and placed it in the sink, where it sizzled and spat alarmingly. She stared at it for a second, then buried it in snow. Then she took a milk carton from the refrigerator and poured some over the meat while Anna coated the pieces with the sauce. 

Suddenly recalling the camera, Anna looked up and spoke. "You coat the meat with sauce and milk, then you add just enough water to coat the bottom of the pan. That's so the reindeer doesn't burn up." Elsa tore a piece of aluminum foil off the roll and handed it to her. "Now you cover the pans and you cook the reindeer for fifteen minutes."

Elsa opened the oven door so that Anna could slide the pans inside. "After it cooks for fifteen minutes," Anna continued, "you remove it from the oven."

Elsa, trying to tidy things up a bit, grabbed the milk carton and turned to put it back in the refrigerator. Her foot slipped on the flour underfoot, and she slid smoothly across the studio floor, arms flailing for balance, unwittingly spraying milk all over the kitchen set, the camera, and Anna, who yelled, “Hey!” Regaining her balance, she glanced around.

"Oh my God.” She clapped her hand over her mouth and carefully put the now-empty milk carton on the counter.

The on-air hostess was suddenly on the set with them. She still had a small piece of slimy reindeer skin stuck in her hair clasp.

"Well," she said, trying hard for a pleasant, perky tone. "I'm afraid that's all the time we have for Queen Elsa and Princess Anna. Up next is Princess Ariel of Atlantica, demonstrating how to prepare broiled king crabs.”

As the camera in front of the other kitchen set took over the live feed, the red light on the camera in front of them winked off. The hostess surveyed the milk-coated set and camera, the flour all over the floor, and the slimy stain left on the studio wall by the wayward reindeer skin. She shook her head in disgust and stalked off.

"Somehow I have a feeling they won’t invite us back next year," Anna said as she wiped milk and flour off her face.

"I have a feeling you may be right," Elsa agreed.

Kristoff, Revel, and Bit, all wearing big grins, joined them as they walked off the set.

"That was the best cooking show I've ever seen!” Kristoff said. “Usually they’re really boring.”

The hostess approached them again, trailed by a young man carrying a sheaf of papers.

"Well, Your Majesty, Your Highness" she said heavily, "it seems the viewers loved you."

"They did?" Anna asked incredulously. The hostess nodded.

"But we messed everything up," Elsa protested.

"See these?" the hostess asked, taking some pledge slips from the young man. "These are pledges generated by your segment. Listen to this," she said, reading from the top pledge slip. " _'That's the funniest thing I've seen on TV in a long time, and certainly the best thing I've seen on a telethon. Keep up the good work!'_ And then there's this one, _'If those two aren't a professional comedy team, they should be! They need their own show on Food Network! Put me down for one hundred kroners and send me the recipe book. If there's a video, send me that too.'_ "

“Most of the people who called in were laughing the whole time they were giving their pledges," the young man said. "I almost didn't volunteer for this pledge drive, because they're usually so boring."

"Well, it certainly wasn't boring today," the hostess said. "And we would like you both to come back for our next pledge drive."

"I don't know if I want to continue to make a fool of myself on live TV," Elsa said.

The hostess raised an eyebrow at her. "Your Majesty, the viewers loved seeing you just being yourself – listen to this." She began reading from the pledge slips again. “ _’Queen Elsa seems like a real ice queen when I see her on the news. It was nice to see she’s human after all'_ and _'It was great seeing Her Majesty loosen up a bit. She comes across as really cold sometimes. It's nice to see that she has a sense of humor.'_ "

“Well, I _am_ the Snow Queen,” Elsa said, miffed. “And I do have a sense of humor.” She frowned and sniffed the air. "What's that burning smell?"

"Oh my God, it's not me, is it?" Anna asked, trying to look at her backside.

"The reindeer!" Elsa cried, running to the kitchen set where their forgotten meal was burning up in the oven. Anna hurried over, and together they pulled the oven door open, discharging a huge cloud of black smoke that filled the studio. Soon, everyone was choking and coughing as the sickening smell of burnt reindeer permeated the studio. Elsa blasted the oven with ice.

The hostess face-palmed. The young man with her called out, “Please please please promise that you will come back next year!”


	11. For Your Amusement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz hates amusement parks, but she'll endure one if it means getting to spend time with Queen Elsa. The real struggle might be not killing Princess Anna...

Lieutenant Colonel M.C. Fitzwilliam stepped out onto the balcony of her apartment. It was a beautiful Saturday in Arendelle City. The sky was a gorgeous bright blue, sunlight reflected off the deep blue surface of the fjord, and a fresh breeze blew gently across her face. Sipping her coffee, Fitz took a moment to appreciate the spectacular view.

She still couldn’t quite believe the quality of the accommodations she had received as a perk of her position as the military attaché at the American embassy in Arendelle. Her apartment was in the coveted Arenfjord district of the city, nestled in a hillside overlooking the fjord and the quaint historic waterfront shopping district. When she walked out through her building’s front door, she was only steps from some of the best restaurants and shops in the country, and only blocks from several raucous pubs whose clientele drew heavily from the ships that came into the fjord on a daily basis.

Her boss, Ambassador Smithfield, told her that the accommodations were partly to make up for the hardship of Arendelle’s winters. If you were going to freeze your ass off for over half the year, you might as well do so in comfort, he said.

Fitz didn’t normally give much thought to such things. In her usual duty assignments, having four solid walls and a roof qualified as the lap of luxury, so she was more than satisfied with this arrangement. Besides, there was really only one place in Arendelle where she would rather lay her head.

She looked across the fjord at Arendelle Castle and sighed. A month spent on the small-talk-and-canapes diplomatic circuit, and she’d only seen the queen once. Queen Elsa had smiled warmly and welcomed her back to Arendelle, but she had been monopolized by others who ranked a lot higher than the American military attaché. Since then, no opportunities to request the pleasure of the queen’s company for, say, a quiet dinner or helicopter ride into the scenic mountains for a picnic, had presented themselves. At this point, Fitz was almost desperate enough to seek the assistance of the Queen’s sister.

Almost, but not quite. Just the mental image of the shit-eating grin that was sure to light up Princess Anna’s face at such a request was enough to keep Fitz from asking.

Not to mention the crap she would get from Bit Lockhart, who had steadfastly refused to broker any non-official contact with Elsa.

_He just likes to torture me._

Her doorbell rang. Fitz strode through her apartment and peered through the peephole, seeing nothing but a blue-green eyeball.

_Speaking of torture…_

She opened the door. The Crown Princess of Arendelle stood there, grinning broadly. Kristoff Bjorgman and Bit Lockhart stood just behind her, their grins only slight less broad.

“Good morning, Fitz!” Anna sang.

“Good morning, Your Highness,” Fitz said as the princess barged past her into the apartment. “What a pleasant surprise.”

“Pfft. How many times do I have to tell you to call me Anna?” Anna eyed Fitz’s bathrobe critically. “Go get dressed. We’ll wait.”

“Dressed for what?” Fitz asked. Something casual, apparently – Anna was wearing shorts, sneakers, and a flannel shirt thrown over a tee with a…sandwich? on it. Kristoff wore jeans and a tee with a reindeer on it. Bit was wearing a sport coat, probably to conceal his weapon.

“The ribbon-cutting for the new ride at Adventureland Arendelle, of course!”

“Of course?” Fitz shot a glance at Bit, who gave her a smile that was a touch too innocent. _Bastard_. “Anna, I really don’t – ”

Anna and Kristoff exchanged glances, then a crafty look flashed across Anna’s face. “Elsa will be there…” she crooned.

_Shit!_ Fitz gave Bit the stink-eye, then turned on her heel and stomped into her bedroom to get dressed.

*************

It was still a beautiful Saturday at Adventureland Arendelle. The sun was still shining, the breeze was still fresh, the sky was still blue, and the Queen of Arendelle was still the loveliest woman Fitz had ever set eyes on.

“Hey, Elsa!” Anna waved to her sister.

Fitz stood a little straighter as the Queen and her bodyguard, Revel Handler, approached them. Even dressed casually in leggings, flats, and a long-sleeved blue tee that said “Let It Go” on the front, Elsa was a vision. Her blonde hair was in a long braid that draped over one shoulder, with loose strands dancing around her face in the breeze. The sky now had competition for its beauty in the Queen’s crystal-blue eyes.

“Good morning, Your Majesty,” Fitz said with a little bow, her heart thumping a bit harder.

“Good morning, Colonel,” Elsa said with a smile. “What brings you out here today?”

“The Crown Princess insisted I accompany her, Your Majesty.”

“Oh she did, did she?” Elsa raised an eyebrow at her sister, who just smiled at her with wide-eyed innocence.

The park manager scurried up to them. “Your Majesty, we’re ready for you.”

He led the group over to the podium in front of the entrance to the new ride. Elsa gave a short speech.

“…and we now officially declare Adventure Arendelle’s newest attraction, _Marshmallow’s Fury_ , open for business!”

Elsa, Anna, and the park manager awkwardly wielded a giant pair of scissors to cut the big red ribbon across the ride’s entrance.

The park manager stepped up to the podium. “ _Marshmallow’s Fury_ is an exciting addition to our park. It can accommodate 32 passengers at a time, seated in eight sections of four. Once secured in the gondola, the passengers will be raised to a height of over 300 feet. When it reaches its maximum height, the gondola will rotate 90 degrees forward so that the riders are facing the ground. They will remain suspended that way for anywhere from one to five seconds. Then the car will release and plummet toward the ground, allowing the riders to experience five full seconds of free-fall weightlessness!”

_No thanks_ , Fitz thought.

“I would now like to invite Queen Elsa and Princess Anna to select two other people to accompany them on the maiden run.”

Anna grinned wickedly and whispered in Elsa’s ear. The Queen stepped up to the podium and said, “We would like to invite Chief Warrant Officer Kristoff Bjorgman of the Arendelle Army Air Corps and Lieutenant Colonel M.C. Fitzwilliam of the United States Embassy to join us for this exciting ride.”

_I’ve been set up_. 

Kristoff whooped with delight and headed for the ride. Fitz’s mind raced as she tried to figure out a way to gracefully decline the invitation. Then Bit’s voice said softly in her ear, “Come on, Fitz, you don’t want the Queen to think the bad-ass Nightstalker is afraid of an amusement park ride, do you?”

“Why aren’t you going?” Fitz hissed. “Aren’t you supposed to be looking after Princess Jump-First-Think-Later?”

Bit shrugged. “I’m too big for the safety harnesses.”

“What about Handler? Why can’t he go?”

“Hey, she invited _you_.”

Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff had already climbed into the gondola. Queen Elsa was watching her expectantly. Resigning herself to the inevitable, Fitz joined them, taking the empty seat next to the Queen. The safety bars lowered over her shoulders, and she fumbled with the belt that locked it into place.

"This doesn't seem right," she said as she struggled with it.

  
"It's supposed to snap in and stay down," Elsa said as she tried to help. Fitz had a bad moment as she pictured the ride starting before she got the damn thing secured, but it finally snapped into place. "See? Like that."

Fitz nodded, hoping her anxiety wasn’t too obvious.

"Don't worry, you won't fall out. These things are very safe." Elsa’s words failed to reassure her.

"Hey, Anna," Kristoff said. "Did you hear about the guy who died on a ride like this at Six Flags Southern Isles?"

  
"Oh, be quiet, Kristoff," Anna said, but she was unable to smother a giggle.

Kristoff enthusiastically continued his litany of doom and gloom. "It's true. It was a guy about Bit’s age. Had a heart attack or something. I think they said his safety harness wasn't snapped in right. What a way to go. Of course, they said that if the heart attack hadn't killed him, the fall would have done it."

  
"Kristoff…" Elsa said in a warning tone as the color drained from Fitz’s face. 

"It's fine, Your Majesty," Fitz said. "He thinks he's being clever, but truth is the poor guy just isn't bright enough for it."

  
"Hey!" Kristoff protested, laughing.

  
"She's right, you know," Anna said. "I mean, you talk for your Humvee."

  
"I totally agree," Elsa chimed in.

  
"Oh, thanks for making it anonymous!" Kristoff said.

“And there we have it,” Fitz said as Elsa and Anna laughed.

  
"Wait, what?” Kristoff facepalmed as he realized what he’d said. He put a hand to Anna’s mouth before she could say anything else. “Don’t patronize me.”

The ride shuddered into motion and began its ascent up the steel tower. 

“Ooh, I can see the castle from here!” Elsa exclaimed.

Fitz was too busy digging her fingers into the safety bars to appreciate the childlike wonder in the Queen’s voice. She barely stifled a whimper when the car came to a jolting halt at the top and rotated forward until they were facing the ground. Fitz squeezed her eyes shut.

Anna crowed, “This is so coo – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The four passengers screamed at the tops of their lungs as the car released and they plummeted face-first for over 300 feet. When Fitz dared to open her eyes, she found that they had returned to the starting point.

“Now that was _fun_!” Elsa exclaimed as she freed herself from the safety harness.

“Is it…is it over already?” Fitz croaked.

“Mommy…” Kristoff whimpered.

“Can we go back and get my stomach?” Anna groaned.

“What a bunch of wimps,” Elsa said. “So much for the bad-ass helicopter pilots.”

No one offered a retort as they shakily exited the car.

“What do you mean, I am not permitted on this?” shouted a shrill voice at the entrance to the ride.

They turned to see the ride attendant holding a yellow stick up next to the ambassador from Weselton. “Sorry buddy, rules are rules.”

“This is unacceptable! I am a victim of discrimination! I demand to see the Queen!”

Elsa giggled, then composed her face into a regal mask. “I’m afraid he’s right, Ambassador. Even the queen can’t change the rules. They’re in place for your safety.”

“You should’ve worn the boots with the higher heels,” Anna suggested helpfully.

Weselton spluttered with indignation as the royal sisters hurried away, giggling.

Bit and Revel were waiting for them at the ride’s exit. “Well, that looked like fun,” Bit said with a huge grin.

Fitz gave him a scorching glare, full of the promise of later retribution. The group walked up the midway.

“Hey, check this out!” Kristoff said. “ _The Great Arendellan Scream Machine_!”

They all stopped to take a look. It was an old-fashioned wooden roller coaster. Fitz watched with consternation as a car climbed an impossibly high incline, only to drop suddenly and rocket through a series of double loops and corkscrews.

“Oh, doesn’t that look _exciting_?” Elsa asked her.

“That’s not the first word that comes to mind,” Fitz said, “but yes, ‘exciting’ would probably be one way to describe it.” _‘Nauseating’ and ‘unsettling’ would be two others…_

“Let’s go get in line,” Anna said.

Elsa looked up at Fitz’s face and said, “You two go ahead. I want to get a snack. Will you walk with me, Colonel?”

Fitz breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed the Queen had just rescued her. 

They walked along the midway until Elsa spotted a funnel cake stand. “Ooh, funnel cakes! I haven’t had one of those since I was a little girl.”

They joined the line in front of the stand, where several people offered to let Elsa jump the line. Elsa politely declined, saying that she could wait as well as anyone else, an attitude Fitz found enormously appealing, especially after a month of dealing with pompous diplomats.

“May I ask you a question, Colonel?” Elsa said, breaking into her thoughts.

“Of course, Your Majesty.”

“Anna has told me so much about you – she has a pretty bad case of hero-worship. She talks all the time about your exploits and your abilities as a pilot. I’ve flown with Anna a few times myself, and quite honestly, that’s a wilder ride than anything they have here. So I’m wondering…you don’t seem to care much for…this?” She gestured around them.

Fitz flushed. “It’s not the ride, Your Majesty. It’s more about…who’s driving. And in here, it’s not me.”

“Ah. I see.”

“Wild rides are fine as long as I’m in control. Amusement park rides – or your sister at the stick – not so much.”

Elsa laughed. “Well, being a bit of a control freak myself, I certainly understand. Although I do enjoy the unpredictability of Anna’s flying. So much more fun than my regular pilots.”

“I would love to take you for a wild ride.” The words slipped out before Fitz could stop them, and her face lit up like a blast furnace. _I’m going to need a crowbar to get my foot out of my mouth._

Elsa lifted one perfectly-shaped brow. “Be careful, Colonel, I may take you up on that.”

Fitz was rescued from a reply by the nasal voice of the funnel cake lady. “What’ll it be?”

Before Fitz could upbraid the woman for speaking so informally to the Queen, Elsa ordered a funnel cake and two coffees. The funnel cake lady set two steaming cups and the hot, greasy, deep-fried, sugar-coated treat on the counter. Fitz insisted on paying; what else could she offer in recompense for her automatic mouth?

“That’ll be twenty kroners,” the funnel cake lady said.

“Twenty kroners for _that_?” Fitz protested.

“Yep.”

“That’s robbery!”

“Yeah, well, welcome to Adventureland Arendelle. Have a nice day.”

Fitz grumbled and handed over a 20-kroner note.

“Here, share this with me,” Elsa said, breaking off a piece of the funnel cake. “It’s huge. I can’t possibly eat it all.” She held up the paper plate.

Fitz broke off a piece and ate it as she pondered the adorableness of the Queen of Arendelle with powdered sugar all around her mouth and on the tip of her nose. They munched the funnel cake and drank their coffee as they walked back to the _Great Arendellan Scream Machine_ , arriving just in time to meet Anna and Kristoff as they staggered out of the ride.

“That was awesome! Kristoff screamed like a little girl,” Anna said. 

“Yes, yes, I did,” Kristoff said. “Mostly because that lap bar was pressing down so hard. A couple more minutes and I could’ve been singing for the Arendelle Boys’ Choir.”

Anna saw Elsa’s face and grinned. “Hang on, sis.” She licked her thumb and used it to wipe the powdered sugar off her sister’s nose.

“Ewww, Anna, stop!”

“You have powdered sugar all over your face.”

“I have a napkin.”

“Yeah, but this is more fun,” Anna said, licking her thumb again. “Payback’s a binch, isn’t it?”

Elsa jerked away and scrubbed at her face with a napkin. She looked up at Fitz, who gestured at the corner of her mouth. Elsa’s tongue flicked out to lick away the sugar, and Fitz struggled desperately to derail the Train of Inappropriate Thoughts that suddenly raced through her head at full throttle. 

She looked away to find Bit giving her a knowing grin. “Shut up,” she hissed at him.

“I didn’t say anything!”

“I can hear you thinking it!”

Bit rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, let’s look for another ride!” Anna said, taking off down the midway.

Elsa handed the rest of the funnel cake to Fitz and followed her sister. Fitz offered it to Bit, who just shook his head and said, “It’s hard enough to keep up with her, that’ll just make it worse.” He strode after his charge. Fitz shrugged and wolfed down the rest of the cake, being careful not to get sugar all over herself, then hurried to catch up.

“Hey, look, the _Corona Cyclone_ ,” Anna said. “Let’s check it out.”

Fitz hung back as the others headed for the ride. Or at least she did until she noticed that Revel Handler was not accompanying the Queen. “You’re letting her ride unescorted?” she asked in surprise.

“I don’t do roller coasters,” Handler said. “They make me ill, and puking on one’s sovereign is bad for one’s career. And for keeping one’s ass unfrozen.”

Fitz saw Elsa glance back over her shoulder, then Anna and Kristoff smirked at her. She let out a sigh, then checked out the _Corona Cyclone_. 

_Okay, this doesn’t look too bad. Not as long as that Scream Machine thing. I can do this; it’s only a couple of minutes, right?_

She squared her shoulders and marched after the Queen.

As they found seats on the ride, they were surprised to see the ambassador from Weselton boarding the car behind them. Then the young woman who operated the ride hustled over with a yellow stick and ordered him back onto the platform. She held the stick up next to him and shook her head.

The ambassador shook his fist. “We’re leaving! We’ll not spend another skilling in this place!”

The rest of the riders cheered and clapped as he stomped away, trailed by his hulking bodyguard. The young woman went back to her controls and spoke into the microphone.

"GOODAFTERNOONWELCOMETOTHECORONACYCLONEDONOTATTEMPTTOMOVETHESAFETYHARNESSESTHEYWILLAUTOMATICALLYENGAGEBEFORETHERIDEBEGINS WEASKTHATYOUKEEPYOURARMSINSIDETHECARATALLTIMESANYONEWHOISPREGNANTORSUFFERSFROMAHEARTORBACKCONDITIONSSHOULD  
NOTRIDETHISRIDEALLCHILDRENUNDERAGETWELVEMUSTBEACCOMPANIEDBYANADULTTHANKYOUFORRIDINGTHECORONACYCLONEANDWEHOPEYOUENJOY  
YOURDAYHEREATADVENTUREARENDELLE."

“What did she say?” asked Fitz. 

Elsa shrugged. The woman flipped a switch and the safety harnesses began to move. First the shoulder harness came down and locked into place. Then a T-bar rose from the floor and moved up between the riders’ legs, pressing very firmly against their laps. Fitz, Elsa, and Anna gasped, and Kristoff let out a yelp of pain.

“Auuugggghhh,” Kristoff groaned, his eyes watering. “I thought this was the _Corona Cyclone_ , not the _Northuldra Nutcracker_!”  
  


Fitz’s sympathy was in short supply. _At least I’m not the only who will be uncomfortable on this ride._

The operator flipped another switch and the ride moved away from the platform. It took a lazy turn and moved slowly up a steep incline. Fitz grabbed the shoulder harness in a death grip as the car crested the incline, then relaxed when she saw that the track only dropped a few feet before curving to the left.

“This isn’t so – AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

The roller coaster plunged headlong toward the ground, then whipped through two inverted loops before straightening out. Before Fitz could catch her breath, it rolled to its side, raced through another turn, then rocketed through two corkscrews before slowing down to approach the platform.

When the ride stopped, they freed themselves from their harnesses, Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff were laughing and talking as they climbed out of the car. Fitz did not feel like laughing or talking. She felt rather… _unwell_.

“Oh, no,” Anna said when she caught a glimpse of Fitz’s face.

“Uh-oh, she’s gonna hurl,” Kristoff said.

Elsa shot both of them frosty glares as she took Fitz’s arm and helped her off the ride. She led Fitz to a bench, then stood next to her, pressing a cool hand to Fitz’s flushed face. Revel and Bit hurried up, worried looks on their faces.

“Ten kroners says she yaks on Elsa right when she least expects it,” Kristoff said.

Anna smacked him on the arm. A few seconds later, much to Elsa’s chagrin and Fitz’s embarrassment, the coffee and funnel cake made a violent and unwelcome reappearance.

**********

The car pulled up in front of Fitz’s apartment building. Bit got out and hustled around to open the door, but Fitz threw it open before he could get there, eager to put the disastrous day behind her.

“Um…Fitz?” Anna said hesitantly.

“What?” Fitz snarled.

“Uh, well, if you feel up to it later, there’s this new pub over at The Waterfront that just opened a few days ago. It’s called The Fiddlin’ Fish. They brew their own beer and everything. We thought we’d go check it out. Wanna come?”

Fitz snapped. “Do I look like a masochist to you? I let you drag me off to an unamusing amusement park, and I end up being humiliated and physically ill!” She hauled herself out of the car and slammed the door, then leaned back into the window. “I’ve done some pretty stupid things before, but I really outdid myself today. It is not often that one is given the opportunity to puke greasy overpriced pastry all over a reigning monarch after riding a torture device cleverly disguised as roller coaster!"

Anna tried and failed to cover a grin, Kristoff was openly laughing, and even Bit was struggling to keep a straight face. Fitz spun on her heel and stalked toward her building.

“If you change your mind, you know where to find us!” Anna shouted after her.

Fitz didn’t look back, just raised a middle-finger salute as she yanked open the door to her building.

**********

Feeling much more human after a long shower, Fitz uncorked a bottle of Laphroaig single-malt scotch and poured herself a couple of fingers. A reward for not only surviving the day, but also for getting through it without killing anyone. Namely, a small, mischievous, red-headed lieutenant who also happened to be a princess.

She sipped her scotch as she walked into her living room. She had planned on making a dent in her Netflix queue – she was several seasons behind in _Forged in Fire_ \- but for some reason now she found herself utterly disinterested.

She walked around her large, well-appointed living room. Her huge, well-appointed, silent, _empty_ living room. In her huge, well-appointed, silent, empty apartment.

With a sigh, she pulled out her phone and looked up the directions to The Fiddlin’ Fish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks to stillslightlynerdy for the continued use of her brilliant OC, M.C. Fitzwilliam, and to JEGlass for loaning me Revel Handler.
> 
> The rides in this story are based on real amusement park rides: Marshmallow’s Fury is inspired by Falcon’s Fury at Busch Gardens in Tampa; The Great Arendellan Scream Machine is inspired by The Great American Scream Machine at Six Flags over Georgia; and the Corona Cyclone is based on the Carolina Cyclone at Carowinds in Charlotte.
> 
> The Fiddlin Fish is one of my favorite local breweries in NC.


End file.
